The Wayward Wind

I Never Met One I Didn't Like

2011-09-30T19:37:00.002-06:00

Looking through my phonebook, it occurred to me that I know lots of people who have the same name. I know a slew of Stephanies, and some of them I've been pretty tight with, others have been causal friends or acquaintances. I also know several Johns, and at times I've had to call them 'Big John' and 'Little Jon,' or 'Other John.' I have to stop and think when I hit the Michelles in my address book, because I didn't attach last names, and I know several Michelles.

Sometimes one person can ruin a name for me forever (I won't name names), and sometimes one person makes the name forever amazing to me. But generally, I get a good mix of emotions when I contemplate the different Jessies that I know, or something like that. However, I've come to the conclusion that there has been one name that I have consistently liked, respected, and trusted the bearer: James.

Now, many of the Jameses on my list are either fictitious or I've never actually met them. But all of them have been pretty amazing.

King James I of England: he gave us the KJB, and I'm not about to complain.

James (Jim) Hawkins: what person my age didn't grow up adoring Muppet Treasure Island? JimJimmyJimJimJimmyJimJim shall forever live on in my head as the greatest soprano the world shall ever know. And he's not bad in the book, either. :P

James Rocket: I'll admit, I mostly watched Pokemon because of the dashing male half of the Team Rocket, erm, team. I don't even care that he had purple hair, tucked his pants into his boots, and could only capture about five Pokemon. He was gorgeous.

James Kirk: There are so many children named James for this very reason. Captain Kirk was and is phenomenal.

James Bond: He drives sports cars, has a British accent, and has a license to kill. What more do you want???

James McAvoy: Tell me he wasn't an adorable Mr. Tumnus, and an adorable Charles Xavier. And he's British.

James Hacker: This one probably won't ring any bells, but he's the main character in the British (yes, I see the pattern) comedy Yes, Minister. It's a brilliant show, don't let the age of it put you off.

James Norrington: The un-sung hero of Pirates III. If Elizabeth would have been smart, she would have married him up front. None of this William Turner nonsense.

James Possible: Cartoon character Kim Possible's rocket scientist father, who is...a rocket scientist. And very amusing.

James West: Hearthrob of the Wild Wild West (the original series, none of this Will Smith crap will be tolerated), exceptional horseman, secret agent to the president, and generally brilliant.

James Phelps: He played Fred Weasley, for heaven's sake! He runs a joke shop, beats bludgers, and brilliantly humiliated Dolores Umbridge. And that's just for starters.

James May: The other bloke on Top Gear. Who, if you want the facts, is actually the intelligent bloke on Top Gear. The only problem is TG isn't exactly the place nor time to show off your smarts, so you'll just have to trust me on this one.

James Hathaway: Character who plays Inspector Lewis's Sergeant (which is a terribly difficult word for me to spell, btw) on Inspector Lewis. He's lanky, snarky, sarcastic, glibe, and frighteningly intelligent. If you're a girl who always wanted a boyfriend who could recite Shakespeare and Keats, and then serenade you on his guitar, Hathaway is for you.

Cousin James: The brightest 4-year-old I've ever seen. :)

Honestly, I've never met one I didn't like. So if you want a good, solid name for a boy, James definitely has some good people behind it so far.

Snacktime, Part II

2011-09-25T16:05:00.002-06:00

Today the missionaries came to Primary. The first elder stood up and introduced himself, then asked the kids where they thought he was from. Several hands shot up, and one little four-year-old boy shouted, "heaven!" The elder said that was the best answer he'd ever got.
The next elder asked, "Who knows where Disneyland is? That's where I'm from."
One of the six-year-old girls hollered, "California!"
Before the elder could tell her she was right, another little girl in the front row leaned forward and pointed at him. "You're from Disneyland!?"

Clearly, we have the two best elders in the world. One is from heaven, and the other is from Disneyland.

Not Even A Spark of Interest

2011-08-11T22:21:00.002-06:00

Yesterday was one of those days at the office that ALL I did was stare very hard at my computer monitor. I was in the process of creating a massive amount of PDF files from Word, Excel, and Word Perfect documents.

Click.

Wait fifteen seconds.

Program appears.

Wait another fifteen seconds.

Program loads.

Click *PDF*

Wait.

It was excruciating. At first, it was just the thirty seconds of downtime in between the simple thought of 'click the mouse now," and "click the mouse again," that was eating me. Within an hour of getting to work, I had a Solitaire game up and running that kept me from biting my nails off and pulling my hair out before lunchtime. But by lunchtime, I was bored, my hand was aching from holding the mouse in one position, and I hated Solitaire.

After lunch I tried other games. I attempted Spider Solitaire, but I couldn't figure it out in the thirty seconds at a time I had to spend on it. I tried Hearts, and through beginner's luck won the game. As the afternoon crawled on my computer started slowing down even more (this was a bad sign: to begin with the thing is slower than drying paint being stared), my neck started aching, and my hands started to twitch. With all of this intense staring at a computer screen came the inevitable headache that no amount of cold water and motrin could cure. My eyes were alternately dry and itching or burning and watering under my contacts. My head pounded insistently, and I rubbed my eyes, trying to make the pain go away, but I couldn't even see straight. The black font on the screen was even starting to turn red in spots.

And then the little voice in the back of my head that keeps me from getting myself killed every now and then nudged me. "Look at some paper."

It was the weirdest thing, but it immediately made sense. I got my novel from my purse, closed the Solitaire game, and instead of clicking through cards in my thirty seconds of downtime per program per PDF file, I read half a paragraph of Emma. Truly, after a day of staring intensely at a screen, reading would not seem like the logical thing to dull a headache and lessen the strain on my eyes, but it was. The solid, calm black font on the pale, easy-on-the-eyes grayish paper, sitting on top of a brown desktop, was the answer. My thirty seconds with Emma and Harriet Smith not only pleasantly engaged my mind elsewhere, the paper their conversation was printed on was a relief to my aching head and eyes.

It got me wondering. All of those adds for the Amazon Kindle, the Nook, and now the iPad.... They're not going to work. We stare at computer screens eight hours a day, five days a week. And when we're not staring at computers, we're staring a TV or movie screen. We're playing the Wii. We're scrolling through music options on our iPod. We're texting anyone and everyone, staring at our GPS screens, our digital watches....we see in pixels. And after a few hours, it flippin' hurts.

Still, people are going to use Kindles and Nooks and such. But I can't help but think that it won't be the bookworms who buy the majority of them. It's going to be light readers who like them; people who travel a lot and travel lightly. But the serious bookworm is going to always want the book, the feel of the book, the weight of it, the smell of it. They're going to want to still go into libraries and bookstores and get lost thumbing through novels. There's a lot of reasons serious readers aren't likely to be the ones buying media players, or whatever they're calling them, but I'm absolutely sure that one of the final saving graces of the book is that it's always going to easy on the eyes.

So no, not even a spark of interest for the Kindle. Not for me.

Snacktime, Part I

2011-08-07T13:05:00.002-06:00

Definition: the moment in a primary class when you hand out the Smarties and there is 15 seconds of silence.

I have been blessed to be able to teach the primary 4 year old class for nearly two years now. There isn't a Sunday that goes by that one of my brilliant little kids doesn't say something pithy, sweet, or adorably ridiculous. Since not everyone is lucky enough to be a primary teacher, I thought I might share. :)

Me: Why are you so sad?
Sandra: I don't know who I'm going to marry.
Me: Don't worry, you've got a few more years to work on that one.
Sandra: I asked Brandon to marry me, and he said no.
*pause*
Me: Maybe he'll change his mind when he grows up.
Sandra continues to look utterly devastated, towards another boy, and I wonder -
Me: How many boys have you asked to marry you?
Sandra: Just two. But Harper said he was going to marry somebody else, too.
----

While I was taking a couple little girls to the bathroom, another woman came in. Seeing me, she said, "I heard it's your birthday this month. Happy birthday!"
I thanked her and tried to usher the little girls towards the door. One of them glanced up at me and asked,"Teacher, how old are you going to be?"

"Twenty-four."

The little girl's jaw droped and she gaped at the other girl next to her, before looking up at me with wide eyes. "Twenty-four!? My mom's only twenty-one!"

I'm fairly certain her mother is older than me. :)
---

My co-teacher was telling trying to explain to the children that it would be dark inside a Jaredite Barge without any windows. One little boy was not worried about that, though. "No, they can just turn the TV on!"

The Epic of Gilgamesh

2011-05-10T18:15:00.007-06:00

I have a habit of naming things. Well, everything, really. One of my late iPods was named Wamba. A pair of my climbing shoes are called Enuma Elish (it means 'when on high'), and my yoga mat is named ma'at (har, har). This January, while flipping through the ads on ksl.com in an attempt to find a decent truck for myself, I noticed a dark greenish-black four door at a nearby dealership. I clicked on the picture, and immediately thought, "his name is Gilgamesh." I know that in a car-buying situation the last thing you're supposed to do is become emotionally attached to a potential car, especially to the point that you've NAMED it.

I should probably pause here, because effectively no one has heard of Gilgamesh, and thus my esoteric imagination has once again proved itself to be...esoteric. Gilgamesh was the King of Uruk (in Mesopotamia), and he and his buddy Enkidu went on all sorts of epic adventures killing the monster Humbaba and attempting to unlock the secret of immortality. Think of them as the original Kirk and Spock. Gilgamesh, in a word, is cool. And so is my truck.

About a week after I saw Gilgamesh online, I owned him. In daylight, he proved to be dark green, possess a slightly hammered back bumper, and have tires a size too large, but I nonetheless owned and rather adored him. Gilgamesh was essentially my ticket to freedom; to being autonomous. With him, I could get to and from work and school on my own, not have to worry about scheduling time to get the family van for my personal, dumb 'I fancy some chips, I should go to the store." But best of all, Gilgamesh lets me go camping. :)

Two weekends ago, I drove him down to Moab and had a fun weekend bumming around Arches and dragging my unfortunate little brother to virtually every rock art site within three miles of the I-70/Highway 128 interchange. (Really, he didn't appreciate it.) We saw lots of Fremont stuff, lots of Barrier Canyon stuff, and then there was the Darth Vader panel...

And the Eye of Horus....

Seriously, a person smart enough to know what the Eye of Horus is should NOT be dumb enough to etch it onto a rock with Fremont art.

This last weekend, to kick of Utah's annual Prehistory Week, my mum and I ventured down to the San Rafael Swell, where we went on a rock art tour. (Golly, can you tell I like rock art??) The weather was amazing, the company was fabulous, the art was incredible, and the four wheeling was intense at some moments. Namely when we drove under a (approximately) 14'x 200' tunnel under I-70 through 6" of sand. No room for fishtailing, and no room for error, especially in a caravan of 11 other cars that have no idea what a decent following distance in circumstances like that should be. It was a few seconds of white knuckle driving, but Gilgamesh came out brilliantly on the other end of the tunnel and continued to show the novices behind us just how four wheeling through sand at a 30' angle is done.

Here's to many future epic adventures with Gilgamesh. :D

Graduation =

2011-04-09T21:23:00.003-06:00

*exhaustion*
Don’t mind me if I collapse here for a moment and catch my breath...it’s been a while since I’ve felt so relieved. It’s odd, I know. I should feel more excitement and fulfillment or something, but all I can feel is relief. I am DONE. And, being DONE, I thought I’d make a list of things I’d gone through, things that had happened, and stuff I have acquired since starting Weber in 2005.

First of all, academically:

6 years
12 semesters
141 credit hours
42 classes...good number, that
28 professors...I repeated half of my professors at that rate...eh, it's a small anthro department
43 textbooks...and all of the English and anthro ones are still kicking around my bedroom
2 presentations at the Undergrad Research Conference
2 library cards
4 backpacks
1 major department change
...and an infinite number of flash drives. I tend to lose them.

And now we turn to the Ministry of Finances and Transportation:

2 cars: Sadie the '91 Pontiac Bonneville (RIP), and Gilgamesh, the '06 Toyota Tundra crewcab
3 jobs: Ace Hardware, Payless Shoes, and Sagebrush Consultants
1 credit card ...it's not everywhere I want to be
4 wallets
1 parking pass ...ridiculous.
1 bus pass
3 or 5 bus routes ...thank you, UTA.

Technology:

4 cell phones
3 mp3 players...I will never buy an iPod again; you're paying for the name.
2 umbrellas, yes I am technologically un-advanced enough that these count here.
2 laptops...hate Windows, love Ubunto, hate that Ubunto doesn't run Word.

Vacations:

3 days stranded in Moab - best family vacation ever, according to everyone but mum.
3 anthro club trips - Range Creek, Chaco Canyon, and Mesa Verde (lesson learned)
1 insane spring break trip to Chaco Canyon - saw the spring equinox over Casa Rinconada, and a shooting star through a telescope that I am the only one in the world to see.
2 pairs of hiking boots
2 pairs of climbing shoes - new favorite sport.

Pets:

3 dogs: Asta (RIP), Archie, and Samson
2 hamsters: Watson (RIP) and Ophelia...okay, 3 if you count Hammond.

Medical Record:

2 kidney stones: loratab + term paper = not good
3 Doctors...drool
4 Companions
2 Tardis makeovers
Lots of Daleks...seriously, I want to buy Dalek salt shakers.

Self-Preservation and Sanity:

4 water bottles, speaking of which, where is it?
2 cocoa thermoses
1 yoga mat...which I named Ma'at
7 fanfics -maybe 3 of them are decent
6 insane celebrity crushes: Ross Martin, Lawrence Fox, Johnny Depp, David Tennant, Derek Fowlds, and Richard Hammond. Wow, none of them are American
2 primary classes with adorable 4-year-olds - I am totally besotted, and never wish to leave Primary again.

In the Media:

2 Harry Potter novels
4 Harry Potter movies - anyone know when they're sending 7.1 to DVD?
2 Star Wars films
2 Pirates of the Caribbean films, 1 of which left Berit hyperventilating
5 midnight showings (Toy Story 3, Harry Potters 6 & 7, Pirates 2 & 3)
2 seasons of Chip n Dale Rescue Rangers ...Disney, please release the last one, this is mean.
1 additional Kim Possible season - girl power!
1 new Star Trek film, oh my goodness, Karl Urban is a young Ross Martin, be still my heart!
2 Stigs...but it's difficult to tell
2 seasons of Perry Mason "Incompetent, irrelevant, and immaterial!"
2 seasons of Top Gear --> Hammond! James May! Hammond! ooh, Bugatti Veyron.
4 seasons of Wild Wild West...I still insist that I am marrying Artie.
1 season of Inspector Lewis

Miscellaneous, or I REALLY Don't Want To Know:

2 semesters of walking across campus in the dark
too many hours waiting at bus stops
lots of creepers on the bus
hundreds of hikes up and down 36th street to and from work, rain, shine, or snow
thousands of late nights and early mornings
several bottles of motrin
a few times of playing hooky...it generally involved math class
lots of fun lunches with buddies
several anthro club bake sales
fun hours spent sitting on the floors in my professor's offices, killing time
quiet naps in the institute building
tens of hot cocoa and muffin runs to the arts building
dozens of runs up and down the social science building stairs
1 too many broken vending machines
an unhealthy amount of cold pop tarts
gallons and gallons of Dr. Pepper
at least 6 sets of earbuds for my mp3 player
and a whole general lot of fun!

So, yeah. I think I have every right to be flippin' exhausted. I am SO glad it's over. But I am SOOO glad I did it. :D

Stopping in the With The Morning Report

2011-04-07T22:46:00.002-06:00

Just popping in to say:

-Mad love for the Top Gear boys!

-Ophelia will now sit on my hand!

-Peder brought home pecan pie last night! I may go steal some more.

-Going rock climbing with Berit tomorrow!!

-I'm going to buy a bike! (anyone got an old road bike they don't like any more?)

-Last homework assignment of the undergrad is DONE!

-My Maserati goes 185, I lost my license, now I don't drive.

-I am in the process of composing a list of things that have gone on during my college career...

Anywho, off to watch some more Top Gear and eat some pecan pie.

"An Intellectual Snob"

2011-03-21T12:11:00.002-06:00

"That's the worst kind of snob you can be, an intellectual snob." -The Philadelphia Story

All right, allow me to be a snob for a minute. You don't mind, right? Good.

I shop and Barnes and Noble. Why? Because there's no other bookstore for 14 miles, that's why. Were I nearer Salt Lake, I might try out Borders, I've heard it's good. I wish the tiny library near my house had a larger selection...but they don't. I wish Weber State's library had more fiction...but they don't. I wish I didn't have to pay shipping on books I want from Amazon...but I do. So I suck it up and shop at Barnes and Noble, but every time I go inside, the sole reason I am still their customer is that they are they only book store that won't cost me $5 in gas to get to. And even then, it's a smaller Barnes and Noble, minus the Starbucks and nifty kid's corner.

But WHY does b&n bug me so much?

To begin with, their amorphous system of categorizing books has always baffled me, and I can't rely on previous experience to find something again, because they always CHANGE this categorization. I went in looking for 'On the Origin of Species' one day, on the off-chance that I might finally read the thing. I looked under science, I looked under history, I looked under non-fiction (whatever that means), and still couldn't find it. When I asked, I was shown that the only copy they had was an enormous hard-back, large print, commemorative edition...on the shelf opposite the GRE and LSAT prep books. Oh-kay. Last weekend when I was in (and utterly astonished to find they had what I wanted), I noticed that the largest section was currently labeled 'fiction and literature.' For a place such as B&N, surely simply 'literature' or 'fiction' would suffice. And whilst in this section, looking for what I assumed would simply be a 'fiction' book, I discovered a separate section called 'mystery,' under which my action-adventure I wanted was filed. Whatever.

Also (and this is nit-picky, I'll admit it), their website's search engine is not case-sensitive. At all. In fact, it takes my carefully typed in 'As You Like It,' and demotes it to 'as you like it.' WHAT?!? You would HOPE that a BOOK website, from a prominent book seller, where I'm sure a lot of the founding people liked LITERATURE, could get their case right!

Also, their stores have a conflicted personality. They try very hard to put on an air of academia, but it's always confused with alternate personalities urging them to make their stores into cafes, or cater only to the young vampire and werewolf obsessed teenagers (who wouldn't come into the store anyway, they will ask their parents to pick up the book), or sell the nook faster than Amazon can sell its Kindles.

...and they still never have the books I want. Granted, my tastes are obscure, random, and often esoteric to the point that I can more easily find interesting literature in a dusty corner of a professor's office. And yet, being that Barnes and Noble seems to be one of the two major players in the bookstore industry, I'd have thought that I could get a little more out of them. Forgive me for not wanting to purchase 'The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest,' the latest self help book, or, heaven forbid, 'Twilight.' I'd really rather like it if you had a decent anthropology section. Or history section. Or classics section. Or at least have all the Star Trek Voyager books available in the warehouse. But they don't.

I feel like a Reading Rainbox shtick...

2011-03-07T18:49:00.003-07:00

Reading recommendation: the Mrs. Pollifax series, by Dorothy Gilman.

In the midst of rereading Mrs. Pollifax on Safari, and becoming utterly enchanted by her once again, I remembered something I wrote once in a creative writing class. I am certain we were assigned to copy this style, but I can't seem to find anything that says WHAT I was copying, so...the words are mine, the form is likely someone else's. :)

Becoming Mrs. Poliifax

Right now as I am talking to you, and you are listening desperately to me, it is becoming clear that the reason you are listening so hard to what I have to say is that you can see that Mrs. Pollifax is coming up behind me and, begging my pardon, says she must use me to infiltrate Bountiful High School. Of course, I oblige, and she, apologizing most profoundly, punches me square in the jaw and I am knocked flat on my back. Now I stand back up and no longer am I the skinny little shrimp of a girl that I was, but rather a mature woman, a mother, a grandmother, and, an agent of the CIA. Being Mrs. Pollifax is rather more interesting than being myself ever was, because Mrs. Pollifax knows any number of useful and interesting things that must might come in handy, should we be attacked by terrorist groups and serial killers in the dead of night in some out-of-the-way hotel in Africa. Looking in a mirror as Mrs. Pollifax, I see a delightful older woman with white, curled hair worn close to the head, but mostly covered in an extravagant hat, which of course is a veritable garden floating in midair, supported only by the frame of Mrs. Pollifax. Of course, though she is a grandmother, a devoted member of the Garden Club, cultivated geraniums, and pushes the book cart at the hospital twice a week, Mrs. Pollifax also knows a great deal about guns, and has a brown belt in karate. And so, now that I have your attention, you listen more desperately than ever before, because Carstairs, the head of the CIA, always unexpectedly calls upon Mrs. Pollifax to go on some new unorthodox mission for him, which always ends up being more dangerous than any mission he would send his strongest and most able agents on.

And now Mrs. Pollifax is telling me that, while staying alive is of course an essential part of being an agent, that the real reason I must survive, and must be her, is that I must meet new people, and remember them, and learn from them. I must learn that people can change, just as Robin, the jewel thief did, when he turned good and now sends Mrs. Pollifax letters from all sorts of interesting locations from across the globe, greatly perplexing her mail carrier. I must remember what the Whirling Dervish taught me, and what being held hostage by terrorists is really like. Thank you, Mrs. Pollifax, for taking me into your inner circle of trust and teaching me; allowing me the opportunity to know what it feels like to be a CIA agent. Because, of course, despite any desires I might have to be one,one cannot simply walk into CIA headquarters and request to be an agent, and walk out with orders to report to Mexico City.

The only problem with me reading ONE Pollifax book, is that I want to then read all twelve or thirteen of them...which I unfortunately do once a year it seems, even though I have stacks of other books I could be reading instead. ;)

...But you don't have to take my word for it, check it out at your local library!
ba-dup-doot!

The Books

2011-02-03T16:14:00.003-07:00

Just so I have this in written form - I have finished "The Horse and His Boy" and "Prince Caspian." I'm currently in the middle of "Voyage of the Dawn Treader."

I hunted down Prince Caspian on youtube and watched it...and was glad I hadn't spent the money to rent it. It was even more awful than I remembered. Compared to the book, it's absolute trash. They didn't just make Peter into a prat (and he's NOT), they made Susan into a goody-good...when she's supposed to be losing interest in the entire Narnia deal. You'd never have thought it by the interest she took in those battles. Most, by the way, never took place. The Pevensies found Aslan straight off after Lucy saw him the second time, and he sent Peter and Edmund in to deal with the hag and werewolf, and to make such battle plans in his absence as they could. There was none of this lame attacking Miraz's castle in the middle of the night and loosing half the army, much to the consternation of Peter. *sigh* I fear I'll only see Dawn Treader in order to berate it as well. I'm going to stick with my friend's opinion on this one: The Narnia Chronicles are religious books, and to pretend they aren't is to ruin them. The movies should have been made by a filmmaker who has no qualms about treating them the way the should be treated, and not making them into 'epic' action adventure films. In Narnia, the external battles are minimal; it's the internal ones that are what the stories are about. Things like obedience, faith, loyalty, and innocence. Alas, another series being ruined. :(

Book 2!

2011-01-07T14:13:00.002-07:00

...which is technically Book 1.

The next bunch of books on my list are the Narnia Chronicles, and I just finished 'The Magician's Nephew' this morning on the bus (while trying to ignore the boys next to me who were attempting to argue that religion was like a bus- it gets you from point A to point B).
As always with C.S. Lewis, I loved it. I've read the entire series multiple times since I was really young, and I've never been disappointed with them. I think it's beautiful the way they are written for young children to read and enjoy, and for adults to enjoy and ponder. The allegorical elements that run through all of them are wonderful, the bits of information on British education system and breaths of fresh (or perhaps musty)air, and after finishing one, I always want to move onto the next one.
As a point of interest, I started this series because I'm planning on seeing Dawn Treader one of these days, though many avid Lewis fans have told me it's awful. Everyone who hasn't read the books seems to love it. After I've brushed up on the series, maybe I'll watch the three movies, and perhaps I'll even hunt around the house for our recorded copies of the old BBC versions.
Any intelligent, informed thoughts on the new Dawn Treader movie?

Next up: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.

"I like to push the pram-a-lot"

2011-01-02T17:34:00.003-07:00

I would just like to say that I finished A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court this afternoon.

Why did I pick it up again after three years? Well, the first time around, I read it in under a week, and somehow found it to be hilarious. And parts of it are: Hank and Merlin dueling, and Merlin inevitably being trumped by 'modern' technology is fabulous. Yet somehow I managed to ignore the fact that the book is incredibly SAD.

The poverty, both financial and intellectual, of these people, is appalling. Hank was doomed from the beginning from "civilizing" them. Time would have to do that, not misplaced knowledge of history and engineering. And not only that, but Hank is a bit of a snob. At first, he's a fun snob, because he's running around the kingdom putting Merlin in his place. Other points are funny too: the knights riding to the rescue on bicycles, the knights and lesser kings playing baseball, the train running from Camelot to London, Sandy being absolutely clueless.

But after a while, these funny bits fall by the wayside, and Hank just starts to wear on my nerves, because he can't quite decide which century he belongs in - he needs to pick one and adapt, because I feel like he starts crossing lines to prove points, sacrifices his humanity in some instances for show, and treats the population (which he is desperately trying to raise from oblivion), like nothing more than cattle.

This time around, I feel like Connecticut Yankee is embittered, confused, stubborn, and depressing.

That said, it is well written, and very complex. It would be an excellent novel for a lit class, but it's a pity no one spends much time on Twain after highschool.

I Hereby Resolve

2010-12-27T12:27:00.002-07:00

Okay...I'll beat the rush. I passionately hate all the New Year's Resolution commercials that are going to start churning out here for the next month, so I will be totally frank about what I'm resolving on for the new year, before anyone influences me. ;)

Actually, my expectations aren't what most people would think, and I'm going to enjoy doing them.

1. Record every book I read this year. I've always been curious: just how many books do I actually read? I feel I read a lot, so I'm going to start keeping track. This past month I've read Chancy by L'Amour, A Christmas Carol by Dickens, half of Skinwalkers by Hillerman, and I'm almost done with Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. I don't finish every book I pick up (halfway through Skinwalkers and I'm not sold on the idea of finishing it - it's pretty boring still), but I'll count them as reading anyway, so I get a general idea of how much I read.

2.Rock climb more often. This doesn't necessarily mean exercising for me; it's pure fun. And as it's fun, I'm going to make it a goal to work it in more often.

3. Establish a set day of the week to do my laundry, clean my room, and clean the bathroom. Dumb, yes, but I think I'll feel more in control if I KNOW when it needs to get done. I like deadlines.

...and that's about it. :) Not too hard, eh?

Over, Under, and Around Average

2010-12-07T15:09:00.004-07:00

I've been feeling pretty crummy lately over life in general...and I've reached a couple of conclusions. I've always been a bit of an over-achiever. Nothing too fantastic, but with rare exceptions (visual arts, math, P.E.) throughout my school years, I have excelled at everything I've tried. I would throw myself into English, geography, history, music, and though I was never the best, I was always good. Maybe I've gotten a little cocky. Yes, I have gotten a little cocky.

Then there were the "average" kids. The ones who just went through the motions without any real visible passion for any of it. They never got awards or recognition, and life seemed to get in the way of their excelling. I felt bad for them, thanked my lucky stars I was blessed with a brain and body that could handle the public education system, and swore that I would never let petty things get in the way of me moving forward.

Oh, that was silly of me.

My aura of "over-achiever" has evaporated, and real life has finally caught up with me. In fact, it hasn't just caught up with me, it has almost overwhelmed me. I'm trapped in some absurdly protracted and elongated joke. The dumb undergraduate degree is going to go on FOREVER. I am NEVER going to be able to afford a car again. I will NEVER move out. There is a list, that goes on and on until it overshadows all the positive things. And normally, I'm a positive person. But this is just too much.

Granted, those FOREVERs and NEVERs aren't real. They will eventually go away. But -oh man- it's sure taking its time.

A Series of Announcments

2010-12-01T13:25:00.002-07:00

1. I successfully reached word count on my nanowrimo for the first time since 2005. In fact, I exceeded it. :)

2. Friday will be the last day I spend on campus, because my class is online next semester. It feels weird...I'm not going to be back here a whole ton next year, and I don't think its hit me yet.

3. Phil Collins is officially amazing.

4. This week is crazy.

5. The paper I was complaining about is DONE! Topic I picked: Platonic worldview manifest through Keats and Austen, and the impact it had on the world then and now.

6. Getting away with disguising anthro papers as lit papers is fun.

7. I'm exhausted.

8. I'm going to find some lunch now.

...and it's due Tuesday

2010-11-27T17:03:00.002-07:00

I would like to register my irritation that Robinson Crusoe has nothing to do with the rest of the literature I read for my English class. Therefore, I cannot compare it to any theoretical stance or other work for a final paper. Which is very irritating. This was not a problem an hour ago...an hour ago I was going to have this be a two page paper...but now it's three pages. And it's either got to be two or ten, there is no middle ground. It's good stuff, I don't want to chop a whole page out... and I'd really like to develop it a bit more, but that's not going to happen. Maybe I should go climb a rock and see if it helps.

Dating

2010-11-12T14:55:00.003-07:00

...I've never been good at dating.

...I've never been good with numbers.

...I've never been able to remember dates...the ones with numbers, that is.

Put all of this together, and suddenly I start to worry about being an archaeologist.

Today's conundrums:

1. Aqua glass with Owen's scars...that have no business being there, according to the IMACs book. But there they are.

2. I don't care whether you say the A/B diphthong is for American Bottling Company or for Adolphus Busch or Anheuser Busch. The dates for all of those marks have no business being on a post-mold bottle...which has no business being aqua in the first place!

Grumble.

knocked insensible

2010-10-05T20:20:00.003-06:00

i am exhausted by people;
by their opinions, their pettiness,
their disregard and narrowmindedness-
by their noise and their smell.
to exist in a vacuum would be bliss indeed.

i am fatigued by their arguments,
their insensibilities-
by their mass and their weight,
and the imposition of their thoughts on my mind.
they are catty - full of guile;
graceless and ignorant.

they are overcrowded and untame -
rude and uncouth,
they are unchanged by millennium
and their presence reeks the sky.

Count Your Blessings

2010-09-29T21:35:00.003-06:00

I have been finding myself more and more bitter and cynical over the last few months, so tonight I am going to make a concerted effort to look on the bright side and be thankful for what I have.

I am happy when:

I'm in Primary.

I've just finished an SI session and I KNOW it went well.

I'm chatting with my friends at work.

I can go to bed at 10:00 or 10:30 and not have to worry about homework.

I think about all the fun camping trips and 4 wheeling adventures I can go on when I get a truck.

I watch old Disney movies with my sister.

I drive around town on a Friday night with my youngest brother and make random comments about other drivers, fast food places, teenagers, and avoid using the word "cute" at all costs.

I have a basket of cleanly folded laundry sitting on my bed.

I can spend a couple of hours in the school library reading a book about ritual drama and shamanism.

I can come home and have two loving dogs jump all over me and lick me to death.

I contemplate going to the Aussie Pink Floyd concert in October

I am typing up notes for the SI sessions

I am making games and coloring activities for my primary kids

I see a text on my phone from my dad or a sibling.

I listen to classical music

I read and respond to reviews on my attempts at stories

I am running Norwegian bottle histories through Google translator for an hour

I am joking about Halo with my youngest brother.

I watch TV for hours with my mom.

Watch Inspector Lewis with my friend on Sunday nights

...

See? It's the small things that are going to have to outweigh the big things right now. And as to being grateful:

I also need to say that I am very happy to have had Watson, my cute baby dwarf hamster, for a year. He died last Monday, nearly a year to the day when I got him. He was absolutely the sweetest little buddy I could have asked for. Watson lived in a blue and green cage on my dresser, and every night when he woke up, and every morning before he went to sleep, he would chirp at me. We have four other hamsters in the house, and none of them chirp on a regular basis, and I am convinced that Watson was chirping at me as I either finished up homework or got ready for the day because it made me happy.
Watson was a well-trained attack hamster. If anyone else stuck their hand in his cage, he would bite. However, if I opened the cage door and held out my hand and asked him if he wanted to come out and play, he would scurry over and climb into my hand. He let me pet him, carry him around the house, and liked to visit the other hamsters. He loved running around on my bed and chewing on my Woody doll's boots. He also loved being put in his ball and running all over the house or the office while I sat and did homework.
He also loved a lot of different treats. He loved his yogis (little cheese-flavored chocolate chip looking things), and would happily sit on my hand and eat them. He was also a fan of eating the shredded lettuce from my Arctic Circle chicken sandwiches, and licking drops of pear and peach juice off my finger. :)
I am going to miss my little buddy very much. My dresser looks empty, and there are no cheerful chirps and a whirring wheel to wake up to in the morning, and no curious hamster to stick his nose between the bars of his cage and stare at me while I put my makeup on. I miss throwing away the lettuce that has fallen off my sandwiches, and I don't know what to do with all the extra yogis that are now sitting on my dresser. And even though this all means that everything I own will no longer be covered in hamster bedding, it doesn't matter. It was a small price to pay for such a fun little buddy living in my room. RIP.

I...

2010-08-09T18:54:00.003-06:00

I...

think anyone who resorts to using a dating service called "Zoosk" is unduly desperate.

have a brown purse full of half-finished pictures and a bag of crayons

drink hot chocolate daily

have trowel, will travel

love jumping over cracks in the sidewalk

am old enough to use Toy Story band-aids

am sometimes a closet nerd, sometimes not

use a backpack as my purse six days out of the week

make plaid shirts and cowboy boots look good...I hope

refuse to be set up with your older brother

am not talented at sitting at a desk

need the sun, heat, and light to be happy

have irrational desires every August to buy sweaters

love to give back scratches

love to act twelve years younger than I really am

sometimes need a hug, but usually settle for my hamster licking pear juice off my finger

want to go to Cairo

sleep with four pillows

have a hired gunman guarding my door at work

will dumpster-dive to save plastic cowboy toys and pocket watches

love the dog who lives behind my office

should have rafted down the canal when I was in elementary school

have nightmares about access databases

sing Elmer's tune

clean up other people's beer and whiskey bottles

wish I was his "yellow rose of texas"

wish my hair was curly

eat more pb&j than most six-year-olds

can't put my mp3 player on shuffle in public

wander aimlessly when I'm bored

write a blog that no one reads

will not be run over by the mint green bug on Harrison Blv

have Egyptian temple scenes and Yei rugs on my walls

have a hundred and sixty million stars above

buy hats and never wear them

am determined to buy some spurs one day

am going to drive off into the sunset

Pick a Card, Any Card...

2010-07-26T13:42:00.002-06:00

Quoting my mother in her best announcer voice: "You've just graduated from college with your bachelor's degree; what will you do next!?"

Ummm....good question.

Here, in no specific order of preference or financial feasibility, are some of my options:

Option A
Take the GRE, forget Peru, buy a car, move to Flagstaff next summer and go to NAU for a Masters in Anthropology. The downsides: out-of-state tuition, the possibility of not getting accepted into a PhD program, and no Peru. Upsides: Flagstaff is beautiful, and a two year degree sounds feasible.

Option B
Take the GRE, forget Peru, buy a car, move to Alberquerque, go to UNM and get into the PhD program. The downsides: out-of-state tuition, YEARS of school suddenly thrown in my lap, and no Peru. The upsides: At least I'd be in a PhD program, and I might learn how to spell Alberquerque.

Option C
Take the GRE, forget Peru, buy a car, move to Provo and get a Museology degree (Masters) and then see what happens. The downsides: I can't stand Provo, I would feel like I hadn't "moved out on my own," and no Peru. The upsides: in-state tuition, better chances of being hired by a museum.

Option D
Take the GRE, go to Peru, buy a car, check several things off my bucket list (The Subway, Yosemite, Disneyland, Cairo?) then move to Alberquerque for a year and work. The downsides: possibility of being completely bored and lonely for a year in Alberquerque. The upsides: I get to travel, I pay in-state tuition, and I will learn to spell 'Alberquerque.'

Option E
Do something random...and completely unexpected...write a novel...learn to crochet...Nap people on Facebook...give up on life...get a dog...teach my hamster yoga...

Option F
Get abducted by aliens

Option G
Go work for Pixar

Option H
Become a park ranger at Mesa Verde

Option I
Just work...and work...and work...

Option X
Become a CIA agent

Tunnels

2010-07-22T13:08:00.003-06:00

I just realized: I've fallen in love again.

...and not with anybody, or fad, or piece of music...

No, just with the over-all idea of old-fashioned courtship and romance.

I've been going through historical documents concerning the railroad from the late 1800's - turn-of-the-century. I read these the other day and started giggling uncontrollably.

“What a pleasure we white travelers had sitting on those platforms as we traversed stretches of road through scenic attractions. This pleasure was frequently increased through the necessity of being helpful in holding our arms around the waists of young ladies also interested in scenery. We sat in proper way in the coaches but on the platforms duty prompted the support of our arms. While there might have been some inconveniences in travel in the olden days there were compensating advantages – and some tunnels.”

-Charles B. Turrill
Southern Pacific Bulletin, Vol. XI, No. 9, Oct. 1922

You smiled, I know it! :D

And other lovely things like this 1921 "Pleasant Rule:"
In a large city park in one of the eastern cities there are seats about the bandstand with this notice posted on them: "The seats in the vicinity of the bandstand are for the use of ladies. Gentlemen should make use of them only after the former are seated."
-S. P. Bulletin

If only, right? If only.

Summer Line-Up --

2010-06-18T13:10:00.003-06:00

--or my mandatory rant about how poor, average, or awesome this season's movies are going to be.

I took my younger brother to the midnight showing of Toy Story 3 this morning, and 3.5 hours of sleep later, I am still alive and have survived until lunch break!

I rarely go to movies, and I actually look forward to the previews; I never know what's coming out otherwise. And while I can't quite consciously remember all the previews, there were a few that stuck out:

Despicable Me: Looks kinda average and cute. Still, for all you Kim Possible fans, I feel like Gru is channeling a bit too much Dr. Draken to be completely original. Might be fun.

The Chronicles of Narnia - Voyager of the Dawn Treader: I am looking forward to this! I've enjoyed their interpretations of the novels in the first two films, though I wasn't totally overjoyed at the alterations in Prince Caspian (King Peter is NOT a prat). Still, this looks promising and much closer to the novel than Caspian was, which means I will be happy! :D

The Owls of Ga'hoole: ...or what Hedwig did after Harry Potter. The animation looks fabulous, but this film really has all the trimmings of a massive flop.

But on to the good stuff - Toy Story 3 was splendid! More action-packed and dangerous than the first two, but still completely a young child-friendly film. I laughed hysterically, was terrified by the monkey (I'm serious. You have to watch out for the monkey!), and cried a lot at the end. It was a great conclusion to a great series, and I think people are going to like this one even more than the first two. And now I want that $50 Woody doll over at Target even more... :(

I do have two gripes: *MINOR SPOILERS* If you've watched the trailer or looked at the posters, you'll notice Bo Peep is conspicuously absent. And although Woody is clearly still cringing over whatever happened to remove her from Andy's room, there is never any explanation as to her fate. Considering the lengths that Woody and the gang are willing to go to in order to stick together and help each other, whatever finally axed Bo was extreme. *pause button* Sorry - my inner fanfic writer was getting ahold of me there.

Second point: At one point in the film Andy calls Jessie and Bullseye by their proper names. HE DOESN'T KNOW THEIR NAMES. At the end of the second film, Andy refers to Jessie as "Bazooka Jane." Andy suddenly calling her Jessie implies that he may now know something about Woody's Roundup -- and he would know how much they would sell for on e-bay. Thank heavens Andy puts more emphasis on sentimental value! :D

So -- go see it!

Go Climb A Rock

2010-06-13T17:48:00.004-06:00

The snow had reached the consistency of shaved ice three months ago. It's gone now, and the leaves on all the trees have gone through the gold/green stage and are now a firmly green green. My umbrella has broken in two places, and my MP3 player is chipped now. Most of my friends have taken whirlwind tours of Greece and Turkey, and another is spending the summer in New York City.

And me...I'm just frozen in place; the same place I was last year, and possibly a few paces further away. From what? I'm not sure; I can't see it properly yet.

I have a list of things to do. It's so long it would probably reach from my house to my office and back.

1. Study for GRE
2. Schedule time to take GRE
3. Update resume
4. Upload resume and references list to Weber's website
5. Go rock climbing
6. Decide if I should apply to a Master's program or a PhD program.
7. In either case, I need to decide what I want to do my thesis on.
8. Start researching said thesis.
9. Practice the piano
10. Go rock climbing

I'm over-thinking everything, so nothing is getting thought about. I've got plenty of time to do everything, so nothing is getting done. I'm working full-time, so no money is being saved. I'm far too old to act like a teenager, yet far too young to be an adult.

I haven't the faintest idea what to do. I'll go climb another rock.

When I Grow Up

2010-05-17T21:12:00.006-06:00

As if it weren't enough noise going on in my own head, trying to pin down exactly the field of anthropology/archaeology/ethnoarchaeology that I want to go into, people keep pestering me about it. I don't think they know that it's stressful. I remember when I was in high school and people asked what I thought I would major and minor in in college. I started telling people I would major in E flat and minor in C sharp. At least is shut them up. So now, if you ask me what I want to be when I grow up, I have a new answer for you.

1. When I'm 30, I want to be just like the feminine, graceful, tough-as-nails/smooth-as-silk Della Street.

I will wear stylish clothes, tease all my male co-workers, be happily independent, and eventually someone will realize I'm invaluable. Or not.

2. When I'm 55, I will become Dr. Rosemary Boxer. (on right)

I will trundle around the countryside in a beat up old Land Rover with my best friend, solve mysteries, be able to fix any car, and know all the botanical names for plants. Or at least all the pottery types within a 200 hundred mile radius.

3. I'll finish up my career by joining the CIA and traveling to exotic destinations disguised as an innocent tourist a la Emily Reed-Pollifax. Underneath that grandmotherly, likable exterior, I will be a brown belt in karate, be able to mediate while doing a handstand, be able to identify and fire a number of small-caliber fire arms, and come home to my geraniums and book club.

I will leave Emily Pollifax up to your imagination. :)

4. Earlier today, someone asked me why I had a picture of James West and Artemus Gordon on my wall at work. I replied that when I grow up, I'm going to marry Artemus Gordon.

...I'll let y'all know how that works out. ;)

Things The Rescue Rangers Taught Me About Real Life #23

2010-05-06T18:45:00.004-06:00

"Every artifact here has to be looked at, labeled, logged, and listed before it can be moved... That ought to take ten or twelve years - if you write fast." -Dr. Crackery, Throw Mummy From the Train

-->Enter myself.

I suppose there's always something about a job that you're not going to like, and apparently cleaning historic trash is one of them. After six and half hours of scrubbing old beer and vinegar bottles, I have probably inhaled enough dust, dirt, mold, and rust (through my mask) to contract Black Lung Disease.

There are perks to the dust, though. After being told that a certain bottle MIGHT be among the hundreds of bags to be cleaned, I set out with this mission:

About two bags later I was rewarded with one of the said bottles, its label barely readable. But still! It was kinda cool to examine the faded writing and compare it to the pictures and realize exactly which bottle and label it was. :)

There are other cool things in the bags as well. I got a child's roller skate today, and it still had one wheel. Yesterday I found a really neat rusted knife and part of a hurricane lamp. I also ran into a glass jug that had sealed onto itself -- and there was still liquid in it. Ewww.... Then I found an identical bottle, sans liquid, and discovered that the mysterious yellowy goo was once upon a time vinegar. Whatever rocket fuel-like consistency it has reached now I'm not sure I want to know.

And then of course there are the REALLY great things that you occasionally find in the bags. The wonderfully diagnostic, near-perfect artifacts that give a sense of when people were there, what they were doing, where they shopped, what they valued. Those are the moments not to be missed! Here's a lovely example of such a diagnostic bottle: the provenance is unmistakable!!

:P

And now if you'll excuse me, I have to go unleash the pharaoh's daemons.

The Adventures of Last Saturday

2010-04-29T21:10:00.003-06:00

Dear Anglo Teenagers at the Japanese Festival:

I hope you realized that you were the only ones there dressed as Anime characters. All the Japanese and other people of Oriental descent were wearing Western clothing or kimonos. Please get with the program.

Dear Pot Sticker Vendors at the Festival:

I am sorry I didn't buy pot stickers from you! However, I am a cheap college student, and the Panda Express pot stickers were three dollars cheaper, and I got spring rolls and rice thrown into the deal. When I am wealthy, I promise to buy pot stickers from you whenever I can.

Dear South Branch Library:

I wish someone very rich would give you a large grant, and that you would let me select about a hundred titles that I would like you to carry that you currently do not have. Please see me later for a detailed list.

Dear Deer in the Cemetery:

I hope we didn't scare you when we started laughing. We didn't see you!

Dear Bank Account:

Please deposit $500. Thank you.

Dear Cheeseman:

If I had a name like Cheeseman, I wouldn't have a 15ft tall marker in the Salt Lake City Cemetery. However, you did make it easier for us to find the car after we had looked in all the crypts (I mean this is the least creepy way possible).

Dear Camera:

Please stop eating batteries, they are expensive. If you could run off spare pennies, it would be highly convenient. Consider that a threat for my canyoneering trip next month.

Dear Josh:

Thank you for informing me of the location of the other gelato shop in northern Utah. The creame vanilla and chocolate combination is wonderful, and the shop is classy and cute.

Dear Sahra:

Thanks for bumming! It's not with everyone that I could run through cemeteries, the mall, and the Japaneses Festival!

Dear Happy Sumo:

Thank you for keeping my sister's reservations for that evening. She had a good time at prom.

Dear Shakespearean Festival:

Two Shakespeare plays and four others is kinda wimping out, don't you think? More Bard, less tawdle.

Dear Policeman Carrying a Questionable Package:

For your own benefit, sir, I will assume that you confiscated the Victoria's Secret bag from a shoplifter, and were not carrying it down the sidewalk whilst in uniform for another reason. o_o

Dear Man with the Goat:

I understand that this IS West Bountiful, and we do some random and eccentric things, but walking your goat down Onion Street after dark in lederhosen is not socially acceptable. However, as I was driving down the street listening to James Bond music with a giant stuffed duck held "captive" in the back seat, I won't judge you too harshly.

Dear 13-year-old-dude:

Don't hit on girls almost twice your age. I don't look THAT young.

Dear Weber State:

Please don't pitch too much of a fit when I come back to that office for the fourth time to try and sort this out. I promise, if you just listen to me and do what I say, I won't come back and annoy you again!

Dear Unknown Sibling:

To whichever of you it may concern, if you bleed on the bathroom floor for any reason other than a serious, hospital-warranted injury, please clean it up!

Dear Watson:

You are becoming rather portly. Please run in your wheel, I don't need you to die before you hit 1 year. I am rather fond of you, Cute Stuff.

Proverbs From the Oracle at Weber

2010-04-16T19:16:00.004-06:00

Behold, the disciples of Weber State have listened unto the many and various Oracles of the place, and lo, these sayings have been brought forth. Heed them well, devote.
...

"This is REAL; it's in the newspaper!"

"Sadly, we are not on a holodeck."

"Now don't get any ideas and head off to Vegas over Spring Break!"

"In geologic time, it won't be very long before you graduate."

"Then the economy picked up a handbasket and went to Hell..."

"See me after class and I will tell you a very good movie."

"Careful, you can get sucked in!"

"Are you feeling pumped?"

"If climbing is stupid, then what does that make me?"

"It will decrease my odds of perishing."

"If your 90 lb. little sister is belaying you, I would strap her to a tree first."

"I would recommend sacrificing a chicken or burning incense...or something!"

"So, what to do, what to do??"

"Doesn't this just make you want to make a table?!"

"Pharaohs building carousels...there may a future in that!"

"Hail, Ari-em-ab-f, who comest forth from Tebu, I have never stopped [the flow of] water."

"That little crocodil-y looking thing is Ammit."

"The body in the box in the pillar in the palace..." (The Chalice from the palace has the brew that is true, but the vessel with the pestle....)

"Oh my gosh, you're burning my baby!"

"Just like Seven Brides for Seven Brothers."

"Now before you all go crucify me on the Bell Tower..."

"It's going to sound like My Big Fat Greek Wedding Revisited, but here we go!"

"I'm going to die in the Trojan War."

"Know how small you are."

"In this religion of science - which isn't a religion because it isn't fallsifiable..."

"But what I really like are grenade launchers!"

"The teachings of Marvin Harris."

"I'm not a ninja for nothing."

"Mathilda!"

"This site is greatly disturbed."

"We'll give you a stick to beat them off."

Don't let the Mormons make the coffee!

"Oh, man...I need coffee."

"Instant anthropologist - just add coffee."

"I might have an extra teddy bear."

"Top ten things Indians Should Say to White People."

"Queen of Heaven and Earth. Visitors by Appointment. Cash, Check, and Credit Cards Accepted."

"This is my offering for the semester."

"Wait...is the office roof LEAKING?!"

"It's to lure people over here-"

Twitchy and Gingersnap

That was an epic tuck and roll!
---

Heed well what the Oracle hath spoken, my children.

Paint Spatters

2010-04-05T21:26:00.004-06:00

Thoughts, quotes, occurrences, and so forth that have been splattering around in my brain:

Dear man driving the Honda down Harrison Blv.- It is a bad idea to text while a policeman is driving next to you.

My idea of a good mid-life crisis is buying a bass guitar.

Having the office overdose on dum-dums is not necessarily a bad thing.

Don't show me a picture of red rocks with snow on them. I want to keep my delusion that where there are red rocks, it is warm.

Bob Marley is the only one who could have calmed down a car full of panicked, lost, hungry students on spring break.

"I'm going to die in the Trojan War!"

Drinking only hot chocolate for two weeks will shave off a few pounds. There are worse ways to loose weight. :)

There comes a point where you have to break down and again purchase all your Jane Austen movies. This time, on DVD.

The term must be nearly over - I can't fit any more papers into my binder.

It is time to completely re-invent by wardrobe. Money, please?

Waking up at 6 a.m. and leaving the tent in sub-freezing temperatures to watch the equinox sunrise at Casa Rincanada is completely worth it.

Sometimes having the batteries in your camera die is a good thing. You do have two eyes, after all.

RAV4, CRV? Dry gear is good gear.

"Wait."

I like nun movies.

The sun needs to come, I want my freckles back.

Super-saturation= bizarre dreams about pharaohs, Anubis, carousels, and wedding dresses.

You gave your dog an Easter basket? Why am I not surprised?

I either back out, or step up.

One last pull and you're done with math. Just do it.

Dr. McCoy?

The people in my head keep me sane. ;)

Hamster=happiness.

The Doctor needs to get a companion who's a history or anthropology major. Think of all the cool things they could see just on earth.

P.S. The Doctor was on the ark with Noah.

My phone has to hold out a while longer - can't afford a new one.

I enjoy having a cardboard cutout of Jack Sparrow in my room.

There's a reason they call them the "sunbeams." :D

Rites of Passage

2009-07-28T19:54:00.004-06:00

My dad pointed out the other day that I hadn't updated this in half a year...so I suppose it wouldn't hurt.

While I was sitting in a hijacked office today (my office's air conditioning is broken and it was 89' in my office the past two mornings), scanning for the third or fourth time through 169 archaeological/historical sites in Nevada, my mind naturally began wandering. I drifted through several trains of thought without registering any of them before I finally hit on something that caught my attention; mostly because it made me angry. I've talked about this before with people, and everyone seems to feel roughly the same way I do about it.

About what?

About the lack of a 'forced' rite of passage for young men (and to an extent young women) these days. In the past few months I have met and befriended and tried to understand several young men (and some not-so-young) who just never stopped wandering through adolescence. Nothing has happened to make these boys into men. Nothing has finally distanced them enough from all support and help that they finally had to just buck up and decide some things about themselves.

What do you believe in? Is there any belief system at all that grabs you? What are you passionate about? What makes you angry? What brings you joy? Who do you love? Do you love yourself? Do you understand why you react the way you do? Why are you, at this very moment, doing what you are doing?

I begin to despair. I had hoped, for so long, that these questions that I answered for myself throughout adolescence, had struck other people. And I had also hoped, that people became comfortable with the answers to those questions. But apparently...not.

Don't get me wrong: a lot of people know the who, what, why, where, and when of their lives. But so many people don't, and so many of those people (at least the ones I meet), are boys. They can't decide quite what they think about anything. They don't want to feel anything. They find themselves contradicting themselves about basic standards of belief...how can they live with it??

I feel like girls are biologically forced into starting to grow up. You just learn to deal with life, and accept that things are just going to happen, and it's going to hurt, but life does move on. But boys...they can drift for decades before settling down somewhere. And it hurts to watch them get older and older and still wonder who they are and why they're here. I feel that some sort of rite of passage, missing from our culture but present in others, could fix that. Give them a deadline and a purpose, and they will find themselves. And it will be wonderful.

:) On that bizarre note, I hope you all have a wonderfully fizzy day, and that the AC in my office gets fixed soon.

Because I Kinda Miss My Blog

2009-01-26T16:32:00.000-07:00

Once again, school has started, and once again, everything has leapt into the air all at once, and is coming skittering down around me, and as usual, I can't catch it all. But dancing in the rain of all my projects and due dates and notepads is not that bad.

There are a few comments I'd like to make about my current life and situation...

That Elizabeth Hall is a boring, inefficient, cold building, whose furnishings are neither conducive to teaching or learning. I almost preferred Buildings 1 and 2.

The idea of not putting doors on restrooms is appalling. I don't care how long and twisted the hallways to the stalls is from the main hall, it's wrong.

Six months ago I hated guacamole. Now I can't get enough.

I must remember to put each class in focus BEFORE I step through the door for the first time, or I will suffer a month of disappointments before I can quit worrying about it.

Adding new things to one's reading list is always good, and there is always time. Most recently, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Thank you, mom!

Rabbit food may be healthier, but it sure doesn't fill you up.

You can learn to like something you've always hated: like running on a treadmill. It used to be terrible, but now its invigorating.

It will always take longer to clean the snow off your car than you think.

Being an adult is a fallacy. Reaching a mature, balanced decision about something doesn't happen, because your opinion will always change, but you still may always be right or wrong.

Really, don't judge people.

Find time to love everyone, including yourself.

The more I read Pride and Prejudice, the more I like Mr. Darcy.

Decide that the snow is beautiful, and learn to live with it.

Random Scientific-ish Notes

2008-09-29T13:47:00.000-06:00

Concerning the conclusion of my corn experiment...

[Date: September 29, 2008 @ approx. 1:20 p.m.]

[Corn cob had been drying since August 30, 2008]
*Note: I think that was far too long, but I hadn't a chance before now to proceed. This may have interfered with the outcome of the experiment.

[Used rock mano and metate from rocks found in my yard. The metate grinding surface (unprepared in any way) was slightly concave and fairly smooth, and was about 7'' by 13''. I will measure more accurately later. The mano was small and squarish, fitting in the palm of my hand. Again, unprepared and yet fairly smooth.]

-I proceeded by manually pulling several kernels of corn out of the cob. This raised the question of HOW IT SHOULD have been done, because for doing anything more than playing around, this method of extraction is highly inefficient. The kernels were hard as rocks, and so I tapped hard on them with my mano to crush them.

*At this point I noticed that the breeze, which was almost non-existent, was blowing away some of my kernels and much of the meal from my pounding. Thus, ideally, grinding needed to be done in a sheltered area, away from wind. Also, a wasp buzzing around landed on my metate at this point and wandered through the meal for a while. Apparently the pollen or something attracted it. This adds to the conclusion that grinding should be done in a sheltered area.

-After I had crushed the kernels down to a manageable size, I began grinding back and forth with slow, even motions. The result, in terms of actual cornmeal, was negligible, and most of the residue was flakey, husk-like material. I think then, that it would take several cobs of decent size (not to mention a skilled grinder) to produce enough cornmeal for even a couple of tortillas.

What questions do I have now?
-How were the kernels removed from the corn?
-Did I pick the corn too early?
-How was the unwanted residue separated from the cornmeal?
-How did they get the cornmeal off the metate?
-How long was the corn dried for?

What have I learned?
-It would have been very difficult to switch to an agricultural lifestyle. Much more time and energy is expended for what little you get back vs. a hunting-gathering lifestyle. It's no wonder that they wore their metates into the ground; just carrying mine from the side yard to the backyard was a chore!

Next Time:
-I will plant more corn in a better area than a tiny planter box. Maybe I'll even sing to it.
-I will wait longer to pick the corn, and less time to dry the corn.
-I will grind it in the garage, where there's no wind.

And you know what? It was fun! I want to do it again next summer!

I've decided to be a hunter-gatherer.

2008-07-28T14:19:00.000-06:00

Long time no update? Yeah, s'how it goes with us, ain't it? Anywho, I've decided I want to gripe a little bit about my maize experiment.
I decided to grow some maize this year, and ideally, I would have planted it just in the normal, yucky soil that's in my yard, and done waffle gardening with it, to make the whole experiment that much more authentic. BUT, the only available ground in the yard was actually a 4x6 planter box, and I had to plant 16 stalks of corn, because it there isn't at least 4x4 corn stalks, the corn won't pollinate. Go figure.
So I planted my corn, and the waffle I had tried to make around it soon went away because that sort of thing is more useful in hard, sandy, clay-filled soil than it is in a planter box full of garden soil. But my corn grew, and it did very well! :) All of the seeds I planted came up, and so after a few weeks I cut the smaller ones back so the bigger ones could take off. The small shoots kept insisting upon coming up though, so up until a couple of weeks ago, I just let them. And the corn was still doing very well.

And then...
I checked on it a week ago, and discovered that the leaves had been stripped and eaten. My mum said it was probably earwigs, so I got some insecticidal soap and started squirting down my corn. And all the earwigs came crawling out all over the place... *shudders* it was really gross. So I attacked the earwigs by spraying them with so much soap that they just started drowning and suffocating. I thought that since the soap wasn't chemical, that everything would be fine and dandy....yeah, it wasn't. That night, something, a racoon, or dog, or kid, or something, came wandering past my corn and fell over in it. All the stalks except one broke and fell the same direction. :(

I thought that I could possibly salvage it still, so I got some bamboo and twine and put all the stalks back up and tied the supports to them. I waited for a couple of days to water it, just so it could try and re-establish itself. No dice.
So this morning, I went out and cut down all the stalks except the one that is still standing. The roots of all the corn was rotted out and mushy; there is no way the stalk could have supported its own weight. I put in more seeds where I cut the stalks down, and I'm crossing my fingers that fall is long and warm this season. Maybe, even if the new stalks don't all come up, or don't reach maturity and produce fruit, that they'll at least pollinate my one big stalk, and I'll get a few ears of corn to dry and grind. *knocks on wood*
In some ways though, I'm glad that it died, because it's given me some first-hand experience into what growing corn might have been like for the Fremont Indians. There is a lot of risk in very quickly switching from completely subsisting off of hunting and gathering to horticulture. In the early stages of learning, they had to learn to combat insects, keep larger animals from eating the stalks, make sure it got enough water but didn't drown in floods if it was planted near a river...all sorts of things. So yeah...I think it's placed me in thinking that there was a lot more stability in a hunting and gathering culture that there is in an almost completely horticultural society.

All's Well That Ends Well

2008-04-24T15:40:00.000-06:00

For a while, it looked like the semester was a total loss. And while financially speaking it was, the world has once more righted itself, and things look better. :) For starters, I'm going camping three weeks in a row! This weekend I'm off to the San Rafael Swell to look at sites and rock art (yeah!!), and the week after that I get to go to the Mecca of all Southwestern archaeological sites: Chaco Canyon! I'm so looking forward to seeing Pueblo Bonito, some kivas, more rock art, and just plain getting out of town. And after that, my mom and I are heading for Arizona for kicks and giggles. I tell you, it's amazing.
Secondly, I can officially go back to school full time in the fall because I am VERY nearly out of debt, and I finally got a scholarship!! That means I can quit the stupid second job and start feeling like a human being again! :D
And now, I'm going to go finish packing.

The things not included in tuition....

2008-02-28T21:28:00.001-07:00

Someday, someone is going to discover a painless, easy, education-centered way to do college. When that someone does, I hope I become their best friend.

Wouldn't college be great if you didn't have to deal with politics, lousy professors, redundant counselors, mean financial aid offices, high vending machine prices, icy sidewalks, cold buildings, construction, inadequate parking, copy machines, computer labs, and library late fees? The world would be glorious. Everyone would get the grades they deserve, food to eat, and feel like the actually got some kickback from the extra several hundred dollars they drop every semester for fees. Just close your eyes and imagine.

You wouldn't walk up to a vending machine to with your ash-tray change only to discover that Pop Tarts and Coke are now 25 cents more. You wouldn't catch a 6:30 a.m. bus to get to class only to find it had been canceled. You would get that term project back along with the final grade, so you knew why you got the grade you did. The printers wouldn't automatically print everything double-sided, just the way professors hate. You wouldn't slip and fall on the icy steps going up campus. You could find a place to park that didn't require a ten minute hike to your desired building. Wow....

I have this sneaking suspicion that colleges are out to teach us something more about life: that you never get what you deserve; you never feel you get what you paid for; expect to add in an extra hour in your morning for something that may not happen; learn to fight with officials and executives over meager points of principal; exercise your right to vote, because it doesn't matter anyway; and food is expensive. Golly, I feel good about the world.

Perry Mason, puppy dogs, and Prime Minister Philosophies

2008-01-29T19:34:00.000-07:00

A couple of random ideas for tonight's entry. The first being:

Everything I Needed to Know About Life I Learned From Perry Mason

-Never have your laundry cleaned after committing a murder.
-It is possible to hike through a mine shaft in high heels.
-Always have change for a phone call. Or two. Or three.
-Wipe your fingerprints off everything if you stray across a crime scene.
-A good detective is never without his trench coat.
-Never go anywhere without a cigarette and matches.
-You can always get an airline reservation in under 30 minutes if your name is Della Street or Perry Mason.
-Always carry a white handkerchief.
-Never trust the hotel clerk. If he isn't a murderer, he's a blackmailer.
-And of course, Perry and Della make a very cute couple.

You Know You've Been Watching Too Much Yes Minister When...

When one has been over-occupying one's copious spare time with the viewing of extra-curricular television shows to an almost unhealthy extent, one has tendencies towards beginning to speak, act, and write notes, emails, texts, papers, etc, with a verboseness uncharacteristic of the personage in question; however, not at all uncharacteristic of one Sir Humphrey Applebee, Principal Secretary to Prime Minister James Hacker. At time like these, one sees fit to apologize for one's actions, except, of course, when one is in the presence of others who are not altogether against, and indeed, enjoy watching the afore-mentioned extra-curricular television show.

And last but not least, my family has just been extended to include a lovely three month old wire fox terrier, who has yet to receive a name. Everything from Schultz to Bob has been suggested and hashed over, the only problem is, he doesn't seem to prefer one name over the other, and doesn't look like the same thing (name) to any all of us...I'll update you on developments. :)

Random Philosophies...

2008-01-14T19:33:00.000-07:00

Proof that politicians are like clowns - you can fit far too many of them into a ridiculously small space. I.E., a train car. (Provided, of course, that one of them is straddling a suitcase, one is jammed behind the door, one has been shoved down onto the bench, one is supporting himself by the table, one is taking up most of the standing room, and one crushed behind him.)

And, because half of my family doesn't actually know what's going on in my life, and I live with them, maybe I'll venture to tell them all what I'm doing. I'm spending lots of time at Ace, some time at school, and lots of time at Payless, come next week. Oh, and sometimes I sleep. Sometimes. :)

And now, I'm rather tired and need to do a few things, so I'll let you be. :D

Careful you don't squish Bernard, Humpy!!

next...

2007-12-23T17:05:00.000-07:00

I made it!! The semester is over, and I didn't do half-bad, grade-wise. Now we're on to Christmas. I wanted to post some pictures of my family getting ready for the big day, but my laptop decided to die again, so I don't think we'll get them....

While I'm very sad that Christmas will be over so soon, I won't be at all unhappy about losing the frantic customers and drivers that are all over, or the annoying Christmas musack that would make Simon Cowell hack his ears off. And in the future, I won't be sad at all to not have to tarp my car every night, or shovel snow at work, or unload the truck in the cold. As soon as Christmas is over, I'm ready for spring!! :D

The End Is Near...

2007-12-11T21:05:00.000-07:00

I'm currently procrastinating, on the very last night, the very last few hours, that I can procrastinate. I should get an award for doing so well. Actually, I've been pretty good, and have been working most of the day to get my paper finished (it's done!!), and I've gotten my two take home tests about three quarters of the way done. I went downstairs to print out my paper and my short answer questions, and mysteriously, our new printer wasn't on. I tried pressing the ON button, the START button, and making sure it was plugged in, and then going into the application in the computer to see if I could fire it up, but...it don't want to budge. So, I suppose I'll wait a few minutes and then call my dad at work and see what he can do about it. 'Twould be very nice not to have to print those out up at school tomorrow. :)

Now that the semester is over, I can get down to some serious catch-up work. Like my bedroom that hasn't been cleaned, or my laundry that hasn't been folded for three weeks now. *sighs* And maybe eventually get to filing all my papers and notes away in my filing cabinet for future use. And, if fate so has it, finally catch this stupid bug that's now hit everyone in the family except my dad and I. I think I've been praying hard enough, and avoiding the house enough, that it just hasn't had the chance to actually catch me. And after tomorrow, I suppose I really don't have any alternate karma to throw at it anymore. We'll keep hoping, though.

And, some celebration is in order! I have several episodes that I've left untouched on the new WWW season III just for this occasion. I can kick back with some popcorn and milk and watch Artie to my heart's content. And after Christmas, I can watch some more Yes, Minister until I'm laughing so hard I can't breathe. :) I'd really like to see the Christmas episode, and the last one.

So yeah, I'm still alive, in case you're wondering, and still kicking things and running into stuff. My car is still chugging along, and the laptop is going to get Unbuntu installed on it after this semester; I'm sick of waiting 20 minutes for my 2 year old laptop to decide to work. However, I don't think that will help the speaker system...that appears to be shot. Alas.

When the kitchen table looks like that...

A Post That Makes No Sense...

2007-11-29T23:09:00.000-07:00

Jim comes to visit me at Ace!!

And now the clock winds down....it's the end of the semester and I'm going absolutely nuts, as per usual this time of year. It's okay though, because I'm making fairly steady progress on everything.

Season III of Wild West is amazing! I've been having far too much fun watching it and getting lots of screenshots of Artie and Jim. Like this one...

Artie and his flaming cardboard sticks of DOOM!

And yep. Merry Christmas, Happy Black Friday, Happy Turkey Day, Happy Last Day of the Semester, good luck on finals, watch some more Yes, Minister, and in general, just have fun!

It's Bernard! He's pretty funny!

...LOL, that made no sense! :D That's okay...most of what I say doesn't.

"Seven Days"

2007-11-13T19:30:00.000-07:00

I was checking a forum earlier today, and somebody's signature said '7 Days.' All you emos may laugh and think of random fanfics and horror movies, but I shant. In fact, if it had not been for the fact that I was sitting in a computer lab at school, I would have jumped up and done a happy dance. Why? Because in 7 days:

Wild Wild West Season III is release on DVD!!!

Oh, happy day! Ah yes, the day that hath been engraved in metal and worn upon the neck of our most esteemed sister of the Jim-Watching. Indeed, it is thus, that on the seventh day from now, I shall journey forth to the nearest store in my search for the DVD.

It's Jim and Artie and the Wanderer! Sweetness! :)

Yes, I'm looking forward to watching it, too!

I'm sorry...I don't know morse code...

2007-10-28T17:38:00.000-06:00

Well, well...let's see. My blog posts generally seem to have no point, so I'll not worry about making one. *Stares at Artie for a while*

On Tuesday I'm getting trained on the new computers at work, and then I get to help train everyone else. This may or may not bode well. I'll just have to wait and see how things pan out. At least the computers are much nicer, and it looks like once we work out the kinks things will go a lot more smoothly, and perhaps I won't have to resort to hitting the printers and computers to make them work. Hopefully. However, that also seems to cancel out another area of "expertise" I have in the store. If something didn't work at the registers, I could usually fix it because I've been working with them for two and half years. Now I get to experience not working with it everyday and still being expected to work out the problems. We'll see.

Also, we just lost two more girls at the store, cutting us down to two checkers, two people who can work Karleens, and three guys on the floor who now have help cover register. *rolls eyes* I'm going to be positive about this, I really AM.

Wild West season III comes out in 24 days, and I'm very excited. I should do some sort of countdown or something. It's going to be so much fun to watch all those episodes that I didn't get to see the beginnings or middles or ends of. Actually figure out why they were doing what they were doing, or who was behind it all, or stuff. Yes.. Should be very good.

Dangit, he's hot....and YOUNG....

In other news, I need to figure out what the heck I'm going to do for a term paper this semester. I've decided I want to do something with Native American art, preferably rock art, but this is proving almost impossible. I pulled one of my library stints the other day where I sat down on the floor of an aisle and started pulling books off the shelf and leafing through them until I had compiled a stack of plausibly reliable sources on a general topic. Now I just have to narrow it down. A major problem with my preferred topic is that not a whole lot of research has been done on rock art. Well, okay, a lot HAS been done, but I'm just not quite bright enough to find the stuff. And I need a ground-up, introductory course on the subject. Hmmm....maybe I could compare local rock art to images found on Mimbres pottery. Or any other region's rock art as it compares to their pottery or weaving. That would bring both ethnographic and archaeology into it. Ever seen black on black pottery? It's pretty. :)
One day I'll go buy some...

The Case of the Missing Midterms

2007-10-14T19:16:00.000-06:00

Wow...I think five people have been over that murder scene.

I'm watching Perry Mason, and I really think that a handful of people went over the murder scene before the police got there. The guy that died, the guy that held them up, the secretary, and the wife, and then the secretary came back twice. The guy that died got shot by the secretary, but I don't think it killed him, and now the police think the secretary killed him because she had the gun in her hand when they drove up. :) And now you're very confused. That's okay, it's only 20 minutes into the show.

It's been quite a week at my house, but we're all still alive, which is probably saying something. And now I'm just going to sit and worry over midterms.

Aren't they cute? :D

And stuff.

2007-09-27T08:02:00.000-06:00

Wow, it's been a while...

School is excellent, though the only way I can keep awake from the time I get here at 7:30 until class at 8:30 is to sit in the nice and toasty computer lab and chat on forums...go figure.

In other random news, it's 55 days until Season III of Wild Wild West comes out on DVD, and I am VERY excited. We've also finally sold my grandparent's house, after much beating about the bush. Ace Hardware has a new computer system that is sitting in the back room and will soon be installed. When it is, I'm sure ten dozen new problems will arise that I'll have to tell you about. The sad thing is, I probably won't even have the pleasure of taking the old computers up on the roof and chucking them down into the dumpster, thus taking out nearly two and a half years of stress that they have caused me. More's the pity.
Lets see...next week I should be going on some sort of arch. field trip. I'm not one hundred percent sure that I'll be able to go to Range Creek, but that's okay. Umm...there is a mouse in my house who thinks I like to be squeaked at while I'm doing my homework... Oh! Hey, I finally saw TNOT Diva, aka The Return of Artemus Gordon, and loved it. However, I also saw TNOT Pistoleros, which I actually liked even more. And the way that RTN runs things out of order, for me that episode was his return rather than in Diva. It's SUCH a good episode. I think that, and several other in III and IV have trumped TNOT Big Blast and Whirring Death and Casual Killer...and yeah. I' m pretty much just obsessed. Also, I saw a very cute episode of Perry Mason yesterday where Perry took Della on a cruise. It was very sweet; my dad couldn't figure out why I was giggling so hard...
And that's probably pretty much it. Oh, no, I lied: we're getting a shed. Yes. And my dad's computer blew up. Okay, now I'm done. :)

The Care and Keeping Of...Nevermind.

2007-08-31T23:29:00.000-06:00

I've done this a million times (why does everyone have my address in their forwards!!??), but here we go. Everything you never wanted to know about me, and not much that will help with the care and keeping of.

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? A bunch of dead ancestors...named Maren.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Last week, after I lost my iPod. Hey, you carry something around for two years, it's bound to become an appendage that shall be mourned when lost.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Yup!

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Turkey.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? *looks around* Aside from the voices in my head...

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Um, yeah. I rather like me, actually, if that's not too vain a thing to say.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Yes, and no one ever gets it. :(

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Uh-huh.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? I'd rather die.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Wheaties!!

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Not anymore. I used to, though.

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? I dunno. Wanna arm-wrestle and find out?

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Mint chocolate chip. Yummers!

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? First their hair, and then the way they smell.

15. RED OR PINK? Red, the blood of angry men! ...Wait, that's probably not what you wanted...

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? My terrible knack for totally letting go emotionally of people that should be, and were, very important to me, but instead of dealing with them, I'll just let go. That, and I have an awful habit of generalizing everything.

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Asta, my dog who died last year. :( After that, I miss Chris a lot, and also, I miss Mrs. Cheney.

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? I knew it was aliens who sent this!!

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? White p.j. pants with I luv N.Y.C. on them, and no shoes.

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Reheated Cafe Rio. Yum!

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? The crickets chirping.

22. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Blue

23. FAVORITE SMELLS? Chocolate chip cookies, school supplies, baby's hair, violins, and a guy I once knew. *twiddles thumbs*

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? The Colonial Lumber Ace store's customer service.

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Of course I like the aliens!

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Baseball!

27. HAIR COLOR? Auburnish

28. EYE COLOR? Brown

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Yup, and thank heavens, or I'd run into more things that I do now.

30. FAVORITE FOODS? Six inch long, turkey, provolone cheese, on wheat bread, with lettuce, black olives, cucumbers, and tomatoes. Heavy on the mayo and honey mustard sauce. ...What? Not eating out? Wow...um, warm olive bruschetta and fresh seedless watermelon with ice water. :)

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy endings. I HATE scary movies!!

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
I think it was More Wild, Wild West. Loved it!

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? My red Dr. Pepper shirt!

34. FAVORITE SEASON? Spring. But if we're talking Vivaldi, I prefer Summer.

35. HUGS OR KISSES? Chocolate kisses with caramel centers. Unless it's Artie, then I definitely prefer kisses. ;)

36. FAVORITE DESSERT? Chocolate. Chocolate anything.

37.5 WHAT DO YOU THINK #37 WAS? A subliminal message.

38.5 WHAT ABOUT 38? You'll have to read between the lines to find that one out. :)

39. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING NOW? The Book of Mormon, Ivanhoe (I'll finish it or die!), Volumes 9 and 10 of the Native American Handbook by the Smithsonian, and The Rock Art of Utah.

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Hang on, let me get one....

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT? Perry Mason, and I was very disappointed because Della wasn't in it!!

42. FAVORITE SOUNDS? That wonderful silence when you step out of a car in the middle of nowhere, and you realize that you can't hear ANYTHING. Also, an orchestra tuning.

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Beatles.

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Delta Quadrant. More specifically, Illinois.

45. DO YOU HAVE SPECIAL TALENTS? I can talk to dead people in my head?

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Salt Lake City, Utah.

47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK? When the aliens reply, I shall inform you.

Now that I have bored you all to tears...

...and what have we learned?

2007-08-19T19:45:00.000-06:00

Whew! It seems like the summer is making a last-ditch effort to be fun-packed, whirlwind, confusing, random, and irritating this last week. Everything under the sun, and several things under a meteor shower, have happened. And while I feel quite overwhelmed by all of it, I also feel rather satisfied. So even though the iPod is still missing/possible stolen, lots of my friends are moving away for school again, I've learned what it feels like to lose a credit card, and work is still sliding swiftly in the downhill direction, I feel pretty good about life.

It really is all about your inner attitude. I've had this reaffirmed over the course of the month. Rotten things, downright rotten things happen. Lousy luck and random pinches come up at the worst of times, and they tend to all slam into you at once, but if you've got a smile hitched on your face that penetrates to your eyes and spirit, you'll be okay. Yeah, I know it sounds really corny when said like that, but that doesn't make it any the less true. One of my dear friends at work has had just as rough a time of it recently as I have, and she just keeps smiling. Grinning from ear to ear and making everyone else around her grin. She's incredible. :) So, I decided to take a page out of her book and examine my life. I discovered that some key spiritual components were missing, and once I put them back into place, I felt an incredible sense of relief. I'll be fine. Everyone will be fine, and everything will sort itself out, and I'm just here for the ride. And while it's a terrifying rollercoaster, I might as well throw my hands in the air and laugh as cover my head and scream, right?
So with my teenage years running down to the line, here's to a great last decade: all the friends I've made, the friends I've lost, the mentors I've had, the family who loves me, the voices in my head who keep kicking me, my accomplishments and my ubberly-embarrassing moments. I've learned a ton, and I'm excited to keep going and see what pretending to be an adult is all about. Cheers! :D

Pardon me, but have you seen my brain?

2007-08-13T19:15:00.000-06:00

I suddenly feel a certain closeness to my favorite pirate...

"Nobody move! I've dropped my brain..." and "Where is the thump thump?!"

Okay, you can roll your eyes, but I really do feel like I HAVE lost my brain. Along with my iPod, my Kokopelli ring, and my ability to cope with the fact that I'm going back to school. I'm not quite sure WHY I've suddenly lost all of these things at once, but I have. Lets face it, if you hand something to me, five minutes later I won't know what I've done with it. Things just seem to walk away when I'm around. Anything from my beloved childhood toys (which came back mysteriously) to blue toilet seats. No, I'm not joking. I've reached the point where I'm afraid to pick anything up, because I'm certain I'll lose it.

*pokes around the dusty corners of her imagination*

Nope, not over here.

"Have any of you guys seen it?"

"No..."

"Drat. I was hoping one of you would have seen SOMETHING. Heaven knows you all follow me around enough, you'd think one of you would have the sense to tap me on the shoulder or something if I decided to set my brain down and walk away."

*crickets chirp*

"Whatever. But if any of YOU lose your brains, you can bet I won't be helping YOU find it."

*sighs*

Well folks, unless you've seen one of the afore-mentioned missing items, I'll be leaving you all alone now.

*walks away, then turns on her heal and comes back*

No, I changed my mind, I have to rant. I have discovered firsthand the importance of understanding motives. Not just in Perry Mason or Chip N Dale fanfics, but every flippin day. If one person you work with has been gone because his wife just had a baby and comes back sleep-deprived, don't expect him to know that in his absence another worker has just gotten engaged and that's the reason she's acting so immature and loony. And btw, three people just quite, and three other people just got let go, so no one is really happy with the boss, or with anyone else. On top of that, someone's friend just died, someone else is having boyfriend issues, someone else's computer just crashed and might be beyond repair, another person just got a bad sunburn and isn't happy with life, another person's cell phone just broke, and I just lost my brand-spankin-new expensive MP3 player. NOBODY IS GOING TO BE VERY HAPPY!! Throw in the Halloween decorations the second week in August, and you might as well just start hitting each other with galvanized pipe!!

GRRRR!!!

Why? Why must everyone be completely insane?

*sighs again*

If you need me, I'll be watching Wild West or Harry Potter, providing my laptop will work.

What two bored girls will do...

2007-07-29T20:23:00.000-06:00

...when screen shots of hot boys are plentiful.

Yes, we are rather evil, aren't we? Well, she is. *Points to PSP* It was really all her, I'm just along for the ride.

How Very Interesting...

2007-07-25T18:55:00.000-06:00

Helena Bonham Carter:

Happy Home Maker?

...or Deranged Death Eater?

A Rather Sundry Assortment...

2007-07-22T20:50:00.000-06:00

I was meaning to make a blog post several days ago concerning my little family vacation, but got rather sidetracked, so today you're going to get my vacation mixed in with a "yipee!" for Harry Potter. :)

I imagine my Wild West friends will rather like some of these pictures. I had the pleasure of getting away from everything last week, and one of the places my family went was Promontory Point. I remember going there as a kid, and that I absolutely loved the Jupiter engine. This time around, I was a bit more aware of my surroundings, and was able to appreciate it a lot more. And...well -giggle- I suppose would be the correct word here. What does this remind you of?

See? Here comes Jim and Artie in the Wanderer. Complete with telegraph lines and everything. You can just imagine that you stepped through the TV set and into Wild Wild West, can't you? :)

On another wonderful note, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows came out on Saturday. (NO SPOILERS, I PROMISE!) It was a great read, and I'm fairly satisfied with the way everything turned out. Rowling is a masterful storyteller, and I'd like to thank her for the years of hard work she's put in to provide us with this fabulous story. I've enjoyed every minute of every Potter book I've ever read, and I've read them all (minus 7) several times over, always finding them just as good as ever. Sorry I thought it was just a fad at first, Rowling. :(

Wow, it really must be devil-worship; check out my eyes. :P

That was me at about 10:30 last night. I read the book in nine hours. A far cry from the scant half hour my dad had to put into it, but I loved every second of it, and enjoyed annoying my dear sister (who's reading it right now) by gasping and sighing and giggling every few pages.

13th

2007-07-13T22:01:00.000-06:00

I've never been a very supersticious kind of person, and I usually let Friday the Thirteenth go without a second glance, but today...

After having the wedding delivery at the bridal shop turn into a complete fiasco, feeling slightly ill after eating an entire package of candy corn, hearing voices of past managers in my head, sitting in a drive-through line for 20 minutes of my 30 minute break, having customers go from absolutely hating me ("the help in this store...") to telling me all their back problems, reseting the lightbulb aisle, and not being able to open a safe...

...I was overjoyed when one of my friends said, "Maren, it's Friday the Thirteenth. Quit worrying about it."

Finally, a reason for all the insanity! ...Yeah, I'll take it.

They're Coming to Take me Away, haha!

2007-07-01T20:48:00.000-06:00

Evening, everyone. :) After much ado over nothing, my sister and I have decided on colors, and we're painting our room again. How's this sound for bizarre: three lighter blue walls, a dark purple wall, with black moldings and trim. I promise, we're not crazy...well, actually I can't promise that. It actually works quite well. She gets her fantasy purple wall, I get my blue walls, and we both like black, so yeah. Odd though, out of the dozens of blues and purples that go well together, and the blues and blacks, and purples and blacks, it's nigh unto impossible to find a blue, purple, and black that all complement each other.

In other news, I've spent a lot of time watching Perry Mason (my mum is getting quite the kick out of it, as is everyone else). It's fun to watch, and with my current work schedule it's actually easier to squeeze in that Wild Wild West. Though I did spend a quiet evening at my grandparent's house watching Wild West last week with my mum.

... ... Yeah, there's really not too much to tell you, sorry. We'll drop in a picture or two and move on with life, kay?

That's right, Perry. Hand the dirty work over to Della....

Changes...

2007-06-24T17:56:00.000-06:00

Do you ever have one of those days when you want to change all your online profiles and avatars and everything because you realize they no longer reflect your currently personality? And then as soon as you go to do it, you can't think of what pictures, quotes, or formats to use? *rolls eyes* I'm having one of those days. I'm in the middle of changing everything, but can't seem to decide what I want to do exactly. *laughs*

...Maybe I'll just go watch Topper. Yeah, that sounds like a plan.

Don't look at me like that, Artie...

*comes back several hours later*

Okay, what do y'all think? ;)

The Case of the Very Bored Young Adult

2007-06-23T18:53:00.000-06:00

It's odd how I use this so much less in the summer. Heh, funny. Anyway, updates on my life for the handful of you that want to know, but probably already know. *shakes head in confusion*

The hardware store is good. Come by and visit our "Dollar Day Village" built by Ace, the Fearless Leader, and her friends Grumps the troll and Maid Marian the Dawg. The Village is green, and constantly under barrage from five-year-old children trying to play with the frisbees. *rolls eyes* Don't ask, just come and see.

Also, after several months of not having TCM and learning the fun of Wild, Wild West (Did you there's a brown paint chip called that? I just found out today.), I got tired of not watching anything black and white. Consequently I've been renting and watching every b.w. movie I can get my hands on, and watching Perry Mason twice a day, just because I think Perry and Della make one of the cutes television couples ever. :)

And yes, that's pretty much it. I think a lot, wish I was accomplishing things a lot, and pretend to accomplish things a lot, but I'm really just wasting time. ;)

...Aren't they cute?!

"I need a WWW fix!"

2007-06-03T21:53:00.001-06:00

Evenin' all! I've just been watching some WWW, and feel the need to share some screengrabs. I'm sure some of you will enjoy this more than others. :) But I do enjoy it, and it's my blog, so here we go. :P

Dang, but he's cute even when he's wandering through the laundry line... *sits back to pretend it's the wash line in her backyard*

Who needs the First Aid Department? We've got Artie! :)

'How to Rob a Bank?' Good grief Jim, what are they teaching in Secret Service classes these days?

And after that nicely pointless post, I'll let you all get on with your lives.

The Return of the Laptop!

2007-05-27T21:40:00.001-06:00

My laptop is all back in one piece, still slow as I'll get out, but doing much better then it has in past months. This also means that I've been backing up all my in-progress stories in various locations on the internet so that I don't lose anything important like I was afraid I was going to. *Hits herself over the head with a pillow* "Why didn't I do that before?!"

This also means the return of the Random Picture of the Post, and not just some picture I unceremoniously snagged off the internet. I can now continue with the Artie pictures, which will make me a V. H. F. G! (very happy fan girl!)

In other news, Pirates III was awesome! Yes, the critics have a point about the plot line, but honestly: did half the people who went to see it opening night go because of the plot line? No, they went to oggle at Johnny Depp. Come on, just admit it folks! Multiple Jack Sparrows = Happy Fan Girls!

Well, here's to everyone... *raises a glass her brother handed her*

Eww....don't drink carbonated lemonade. :P

The Pirates are Coming!

2007-05-20T17:06:00.000-06:00

Hi-deedee, all! Important updates: my laptop has officially croaked after two years of devoted service. I've sent it off (under warranty, alleluia!) to have the motherboard replaced, and none of my in-progress fanfics will be the worse for wear. Remembering my password after three or four weeks my present a slight difficulty, but I'm sure that Silver can hack it for me should push come to shove.

In other news: Countdown to Pirates III has commenced. As of today (Sunday), there are 5 days left until the big night when I finally get to see good ol' witty Jack come back. And even better, see the bits of the movie that were filmed on our very own Salt Flats last summer. The previews look amazing, and if I didn't have to get filthy everyday at work, I'd wear all the Pirates and Johnny Depp shirts in the house all week long, accompanied by my very cool skull shoes. As the case is, maybe I can just find a cool Piratey necklace to wear this week instead. I also with that candybar doll maker had pirate clothing options, because I would really like to change my avatar "in accordance to the prophecy."

So that's that, and remember to call Voldemort "the man who let the boy live," and always wear sunscreen. Why? I dunno.

Oh, I wish I had this shirt. :)

It's the end of the world as we know it!!

2007-05-03T22:29:00.000-06:00

Which means that finals are over, and I am officially footloose, fancy free, and able to get my life back in some semblance of order!! *dances*

Work is going to be a crazy learning curve, but with nothing else to do I'm going to be able to do this. Learning all the hardware should be very fulfilling. If nothing else, I'll know how to fix stuff in my own house when I'm older.

I'm slightly tweaked with RTN. They've gone from not airing the last few episodes of season IV, to two random ones in season I, and then skipping halfway into season II. I wonder what they played today? I won't be able to watch it anymore, but that should be mostly okay, because I've seen most of most of the episodes. But anywho, on to the random picture of the post; I've been playing with my screengrab button again...

"Oh Artie! Come here...! That's right, nice and slow so all the annoying bus boys can see your gun..."

Around and around and around it goes...

2007-04-22T19:00:00.000-06:00

...when it stops, someone let me know!

Ah, the last week of class! I have an urge to go forth and find every last old show Ross Martin was in and rent them and have a marathon after finals week. Hmm...yes, that sounds plausible. Provided, of course, that I can find them.

In random news, it has been discovered that James West lives behind a portrait of a cellist in my hallway. After much searching and dealing with "giants," Artemus Gordon was discovered living in a vase in the living room amongst the native midgets and dwarfs who live in the diamond forest beneath the palace in Twelve Dancing Princesses. I'm thinking perhaps I shall accompany those twelve lucky chicks this evening... It was also discovered that the entrance the vase and diamond forest is under my bed. There is also a second Kraken who has moved in under PSP's bed, and we are feeding it Starbursts. Behind the house upon the lake, in the field, there is a colony of purple giraffes eking out an existence off of ice tea.

PSP and I shall become rich after inventing a new type of Dr. Suess cell phone called a Wocket. It will be named for the book A Wocket in my Pocket, and she and I will become rich, buy matching VW bugs, and go drag racing on the Salt Flats.

Also, PSP's geography book seems out to kill her. She took it from her locker one day only to discover that on it was written (not in her hand nor the other chick who uses the book) : I gave you my heart and you broke it, so I took yours. Underneath the words was a picture of a bloody knife. The next time upon using it, she also discovered: Live each day like it's your last, and, Join the dark side, we have cookies! The mystery still remains.

It was recently discovered that the black filing cabinet in the upper backstairs bedroom has mysteriously morphed into a mini-fridge. It is also good to note that the fedora has magical healing powers.

The baby on the chair is still watching us, and we can't give it back until Tuesday.

Speckles is getting her exercise moving her sign around, and the Parabola fell off the purple cone. The lighthouse from TNOT Howling Light was discovered on a black board in West Bountiful.

Yes, my thoughts exactly, boys.

Lack of Sanity....

2007-04-18T21:17:00.000-06:00

Hmmm....maybe I should update. *stands up and waves* I'm still alive, guys!!

Well, that's actually largely up in the air, but as I'm still breathing, and can (usually) move, I think I might be able to claim life. Not intelligent life, but life. Too bad about the lack of intelligence too, because finals are a-comin'. *runs and hides in a corner* "Don't eat me!!"

Ahem. If you'll just pardon my sanity for a few moments, I'm sure it will return when it finds Artie. It usually shows back up sometime around the day after all my finals are done, so -- check back in a week and a half.

Well, I've been busy. I've been down in Range Creek Canyon this past weekend and had an absolute blast. The anthropology and archeology students and professors are probably the nicest people on campus, so camping with them for three days was a treat. So was getting a VIP tour of the canyon from one of the people heading up research there. It's not every day you get to ride around with someone like that and just listen to them talk...I learned so much, and realized just how much more there is to learn. And that I need to find some intrinsic motivation. There's so much ahead of me, and it has to not only interest me, but I've got to be passionate about it. That's going to take some doing. That part of me seems to have shut down...the 'start' button has to be somewhere around here....

In other news, I've sold my soul to my linguistics professor, and it's not looking like a happy ending. Perhaps I should put Faust on my reading list so I can get some tips for avoiding this in the future. Yes, it looks as though I'm going to fail, but it's certainly not for a lack of trying. I'm hoping that by showing up every day and turning in all my assignments, taking all my tests, and just being a live body, I'll somehow work up enough sympathy points to scratch through by the skin of my teeth. We'll see.

I'm currently looking for a summer day job, and it's turning into a mess. So far the only place that's gotten back to me is quite the commute away, and appears to have 'Commitment' written all over it in large, bolded letters. This is a grown-up desk job. A career, if I'm so bold as to use the term. Pays magnificently, but I'm not sure I'm ready to throw away my freedom. It's quite possible to work 22 hours a week and still feel incredibly free. I can switch with someone if I need a day off, call in sick, be a couple minutes late...but this would mean Commitment. Oiy. Something I'm really quite frightened of at this age.

It's looking (again) like no school next semester, but I'm having an extra hard time coming to grips with this because I just found out that two of my favorite anthro teachers are going to teach back-to-back anthro and archeology of the Southwest, with a field trip, and combine the final paper into something that would serve both classes. These professors are experts in that particular area, and this is really a once-in-a-lifetime chance on something that interests me. And of course I would never say no to more upper division credit hours. Again, we'll see what happens.

As always, I'm procrastinating everything, and it's all tumbling down around my ears, just like it does at the end of every semester. I'm definitely ready for a long break from school, and getting the need to be lazy out of my system. Well, actually, that won't ever happen...but I'd like to think that after a week of R and R, I could actually sit down and write some of the stories I've been wanting to, work on that reading list, and maybe even crack out my violin again when no one is around to become hearing impaired. It won't happen, but I can dream, right.

Oh hey, I think my sanity just found Artie....yep, here it comes, dragging the poor guy by the arm.

"Say, what's going on here? Where are you taking -- oh, Maren! What is this thing?"

"Uhh...that's my sanity. Yeah, not pretty, I know... Hey sanity, do you suppose you could go away for a while?"

"And do what?"

"I dunno...take a hike, jump in the lake, fly a kite, fold my laundry..."

"Okay, okay, I'm going!"

"Thank you!"

*Sanity grumbles and wanders off in the general direction of the laundry room.*

"So, Artie...wanna help me study?"

"Study what?"

"Would you kill me if I said chemistry?"

"Yes."

"Drat. "

SPORK!!

2007-03-25T20:23:00.000-06:00

So...another pointless blog post. Fun. As always, a ton has happened, most of it uneventful and fairly meaningless, so as always, you'll be bored. But, here are the new statistics:

-I've become addicted to Gatorade
-I've watched the first three discs of Wild Wild West season two, and loved every wonderful second of it.
-Also, I've got my younger brothers addicted to WWW.
-My awesome PSP of a sister has joined the Acorn Cafe.
-My cousin just had her first baby (it's a boy!) a few days ago, and I'm a cousin again. (Yea for more first cousins once removed!)
- Said new cousin is darned cute. :)
-Spring break has come and gone, but I caught up on a lot of sleep.
-My sister is having me say 'spork' over and over again...

Random Picture of the Post:

spork spork spork...isthereapointtothis spork?

The Ides of March

2007-03-15T15:01:00.000-06:00

Well, no one got stabbed (as of yet; I haven't watched Wild Wild West yet), but it has been a rather long and interesting day. I sorta feel like I'm on Star Trek or something, and pulling a night shift.

My brother had an asthma attack late last evening, and so my parents took him to the hospital, leaving me alone with my brother and sister, both of whom went to bed pretty soon after. I'm not one who can sleep easily when one of my sibs is in trouble (call it my "Big Sister" alarm), or when my parents aren't home, so I stayed up watching Wild Wild West, until almost three in the morning. At that point I wondered if they were coming home at all, so I called our cell phone, and found out everything was under control and that they'd be home soon.

We all got about three hours of sleep before we had to get up to get my other sibs off to school, and then we all went back to bed until early this afternoon. So I feel kinda...off.

Well, I hope you two update your blogs at some point... ;)
And for your enjoyment, another random and slightly pointless picture.

The Night of the Retro Revolution

2007-03-07T18:36:00.000-07:00

The ever-oddball retro chick is at it again: I've become addicted to yet another oldie but goodie. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present Mr. James West, and Mr. Artemis Gordon to you.

My family recently blew our satellite dish off the roof, discontinuing our cable service, and cutting me off from one of my favorite stations: Turner Classic Movies. For quite a while I didn't watch any TV, because I'm honestly not a huge fan of most of the stuff that's on nowadays. And then, unexpectedly, my parents stumbled across the Retro Television Network...and I'm a goner, all over again.

At first, none of the shows really appealed to me. Mission: Impossible was kinda strange; not what I thought it would be. Hogan's Heroes seemed slightly "off" somehow - I couldn't grasp a comedy taking place in a Nazi work camp. Hawaii Five-0 was too much of a drama, even though Dano was cute. And Wild Wild West? Well, I couldn't decide if I should label it "sci-fi" or "Western."

It took me about a month to find the charm in these shows. Mission: Impossible threw me a curve ball by casting Martin Landau, whom I knew as a henchman in North by Northwest, as one of the heroes. It took me quite a while to get over that one, but after I did...I realized how much fun the show was. I watch it nearly every evening now (when I'm not exhausted), and was furious the other night when the sound kept going out during the climax...RTN isn't exactly well-established, if you catch my drift.

Hogan's Heroes turned out to be nothing but campy fun, once I figured out that they weren't trying to escape, but actually were sabotaging the Nazi's behind their back. After that, Hogan turned out to be an ingeniously funny guy.

Eventually, Hawaii Five-O's incredible opening title's and score, along with the ever-adorable James McArthur, drew me in. I'm not as into this show as the others, but I still watch it...Dano is cute, what more must I say?

But anyway, back to my point.... What was my point?

A tall, dark-haired cowboy next to BOC42 coughs quietly and leans over. "You were going to introduce us?"

"Oh, right! Thanks, Arte."

Anyway, continuing. After several weeks of being completely perplexed by Wild Wild West, I had an epiphany. Well...yeah, I guess you could call it that. I decided that I like the writing. West and Artemis were a team, and even though West always got the girl, and was cocky and cool, he never tried to overshadow Artemis, who he saw as his partner, not an underling. The camaraderie between the two of them was fun to watch. West always wound up getting himself in over his head, but he never had to worry, because Artemis was always one step behind him in some incredible disguise, blending right in with the villain's henchmen until West gave the cue.

Another man on the other side of BOC42, brushes off his blue coat and whispers something in her ear.

"Oh, can't forget that, can I?"

"He'd never forgive you," the tall, sandy-haired man agrees.

Okay, and one other thing: I've decided that Artemis Gordon is pretty much amazing, and he's now the wallpaper on my computer!

"I am?" Artemis asks, surprised.

"Well how about that, Arte?" West laughs, slapping his partner on the shoulder. "You finally got a girl after all."

Artemis gapes, speechless, at West. West nods and moves off, "It only took you forty years."

BOC42 breaks down into a fit of giggles as Artemis stares after West, then sighs and shakes his head.
"Don't I make the sun rise in the West every morning?"

=)

2007-03-03T19:12:00.000-07:00

Hmm...so I randomly just found that makeup brush I thought I'd lost. Coolness. So...school is coming along fairly well. Spring break is in a couple weeks, which means I'll get to spend a week at home doing twice the amount of homework that I would have had to do normally, because apparently professors feel the need to load us up so we don't get bored or something. Seriously people, it's a "Break." Look it up in the dictionary. It means we shouldn't have to do more work that you'll just have to grade later anyway. :(

In other news, I'm officially going to Range Creek Canyon next month, and if possible, I'm even more excited now than I was before. :D

And that's pretty much life...can't complain too much. Now if I could just master myself and plow through the next two chapters of that anthro book, and then the two handouts and lecture notes he gave me, and then go over the essay exam prompts and formulate rough outlines for possible essays for Monday... *falls over and starts snoring*

"Help me, help me!"

Full Circle

2007-02-23T23:36:00.000-07:00

So...about five years ago, I decided to make a major change in my sheltered little life. Namely, I decided to leave my childhood bedroom and move into a larger bedroom with my sister. Moving was fun; we got to pick out paint colors and carpet and sleep on matresess on the floor for several evenings. I have to say; it was a lot of fun. There's something wonderful about being a kid and sleeping on the floor of a big empty bedroom that you just chose the paint color for. Yes, something very fun and wonderful about it.

The problem was I'm a very sentimental person, and the move destroyed my sanctuary. I gave up my privacy, and my sense of being an "only child," no matter how many other kids were in the house. I missed all the decorations and personality I had added to my room. I missed lying awake at night listening to the east winds howl against my window and wondering if it would break. Or staring up at the shelf over my bed and wondering if it would fall on me in an earthquake. I missed the patch of chocolate pudding my brother somehow spilled on the ceiling; how the outline of the room looked like the state of Utah, and I wanted to paint a map on the ceiling.
But most of all, I missed the little "world" I had set up for my finger puppets. You know, the little Disney characters that used to come in cereal boxes. :) I had a whole world made for them. The bookshelves were the mountains, the closet was the jungle, and all the sashes from my dresses that hung down were the vines. My bed was a high plateau where all the major farming went on. I would put my Golden Books and Beatrix Potter books out on the bed, and the Golden Books would be the houses, and the Beatrix Potter books would be the pens where I set up my animals. One family would raise chickens, another horses, and other would raise pigs or sheep or whatever. My desk was the city, and behind the alarm clock was the orphanage. Up on my windowsill was the palace, and to the other bookshelf was the royal stable, where I kept all the rest of my toy horses.
That little world had everything. My little Mickey Mouse in his train conductor outfit would get my Tazmanian Devil car and a horse and deliver the mail to everyone. My Sesame Street finger puppets were the army that was training out in the plains. Glenda the Good Witch and the Tin Man were the King and Queen, and Scarecrow, whom I renamed Cellar, was the person who took care of all their horses. My Surfing Inspector Gadget toy and Monterey Jack figure were the orphanage keepers. The Mr. and Mrs. Claus Tupperware toys were the cute old couple who raised chickens and gave pie to everyone who came to visit. Yeah, it was complex. Go figure...the things little kids come up with when they don't have friends. I had my greatest friends, my most entertaining games, and some of my best memories in that bedroom.
That room has been a lot of things. It's been the toy room, the sewing room, and now it's a guest room. And my floral wallpaper is still on the top of the walls. :)
And tonight...my sister is having a sleepover in our room, so I've come home. I'm sitting on my ugly brown carpet, with my old pink lamp, taking it all in. It's changed a lot in here, but it's still very much MY room. And always will be. In dreams I'm always in this room. When I wake up at night, I feel like I'm in here. Sometimes mindlessly walking down the hall, I'll try and come in here instead.
It's very good to be home.

Dude...Funky New Blogger

2007-02-15T23:51:00.000-07:00

...But it works better for less computer-savvy peeps such as myself.

*Ahem*
Linguistics is EVIL!!!

I absolutely refuse to see how I need to know that much about a language unless I plan on winning Jepordy or Who Wants to be a Millionaire?. Good golly.

I decided earlier today that it would be very nice if I could go outside and ride my unicycle. I haven't ridden it in FOREVER, and I miss doing it. I don't so much miss the lovely multi-colored bruises I'd get on my leg, but hey, I don't wear shorts, so it don't matter. :)

Lets see...Valentines was decent. I ate far too much chocolate, leaving my friends to wonder what the heck I was on (it was the soup, I tell you!). But hey, what do you expect when you eat chocolate milk and chocolate cake for breakfast, follow it up with some chips, then eat a bunch of kisses and a Symphony bar, and down it all with a LARGE Dr. Pepper? Yeah, running around insanely was about all that could be expected at that juncture.

In other news, my room is a mess, my grade in linguistics is awful, and I'm rather hoping to see if I can get signed up for a week long field school tomorrow. The anthro peeps at Weber State are going down to Range Creek Canyon in April, and letting the anthro and arch kids tag along. I'm not sure if the class is closed yet, or if it costs major greenbacks, but as the signs are still up, I think I'll go ask if I can go. "Please!? I wanna go look at bi-faces and hearths and stuff!" Yep, I wanna go.

Well, I'm tired, so lets find some random picture and blow this joint...
Ranger Plushies!! :) Happy, happy, joy, joy!

It was inevitable...

2007-02-09T22:01:00.000-07:00

*BOC42 walks up to a microphone and taps it*

"Is this thing ---oh, yes, it's definitely on. Hehe. So, how is everyone?"

*She squints into the audience, picking out her friends milling about, looking at her expectantly.*

"Ah, good. You're all here. I have summoned you all here this evening to announce the murderer."

This announcement is met with half-hearted laughter.

"Okay, lousy joke. Anywho, today is a rather interesting day for me. Things tend to happen on the tenth of February that are slightly...different. I blame my lifestyle. At any rate, I'd like to tell y'all a little story.

"One year ago today, I was sitting downstairs at a card table in front of my fireplace, twisting my long hair that I was contemplating getting cut, and surfing the internet while waiting to go to work. I don't remember what I was looking at initially, but lately I had been excavating the internet for anything that concerned Chip n Dale Rescue Rangers. Though somehow, one key website, the website, had continued to evade my Google searches. It was on that afternoon, staring boredly at my computer, that I happened across "Tales from the Messageboards." It was a page about the Ranger fandom. Miraculously, a new one. I had found tons of others: Framwinkle's site, an amazing site with a purple background that I can't remember or find anymore (more's the shame; it introduced me to "Sisters"), and countless others. But this one was different for one reason: it had a live link to the Acorn Cafe.

"I clicked the link and poked about. And was absolutely amazed by what I saw. There were tons of people in this forum (and I didn't like forums), and they were all yammering on about the Rangers, and some random thing called the Acorn Cafe Awards. The only other time I had heard about these "Awards" was briefly on fanfiction.net. I wandered about for a little bit longer (a few days, I believe) and then one evening got on and decided to look at the "Story Board." Oh my flippin' heck, you guys!"

The audience rolls their eyes and settles back. She was on a rant, and it wasn't stopping anytime soon...

"I found this awesome story called 'The Lost Rangers,' and started reading it. It was incredible; and my parents couldn't figure out what the heck I was reading that was so enthralling that I wouldn't even look at them. Anywho, I quietly posted a 'good job' comment and scurried away. I was a member on only one other forum, and honestly hadn't felt very well received there. So I was absolutely aghast when, three minutes later, a reply popped into my inbox. I opened the story thread again, and there were two Rangerphiles, saying 'hi, welcome!' and encouraging me to introduce myself. I took a risk and did so. I soon had a couple pages of people welcoming me, as well as an email from one Rangerphile, telling me that they were glad to have me.

"I have to say that I made (and still make) quite a few "netiquette" mistakes. I wasn't rude, but heaven knows it took me quite a while to learn to make friends on a forum. Everyone at the Cafe has been nothing but friendly and open towards me, for which I am very grateful. I'm now surrounded with wonderful friends that make me laugh, buoy me up when I'm down, and offer encouragement when I'm not sure of myself.

"Here's to one of the greatest years of my life, some of the best friends I've ever made, to many more good times to come, and of course, the 2006 Golden Acorn Awards!" :)

?

2007-02-07T22:12:00.000-07:00

My puppy... :(

Hmm...what to say? Well, for starts, this is my first post with the new blogger thingy...and so far my text looks different.

Well, lets rant for a minute, and then be off to vote for the GAA.

Rant, rant, rant, rant,rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, school is awful, rant, rant, I'm tired...

All right, that's all. We'll stick a picture in here, call it good, and go do something productive.

Hum...

2007-01-31T22:38:00.000-07:00

So, what goes on, people?

Life is more or less decent enough. Today was rather rotten. You know (or maybe you boys don't), one of those days when you should just go back to bed and try again. The hair didn't work, the makeup didn't get put on, the bus was late, the assignment you though was due wasn't, no breakfast, no lunch... Yeah, kinda a crappy day. *sighs*

Lets see. I haven't managed to soak my nails off yet. I'm kinda peeling them off randomly, much to the amusement of any boys in the vicinity. I've become addicted to Hawaii Five-0 and the original Mission: Impossible. Sadly, that keeps me up a bit later than I'd like.

Umm...I've drafted a few scenes for "the sequel," which seem to be going along okay. I may have to tweak a few things that I originally thought would be in my story, but hey,I'm not writing it, Gadget is. I'm just planning the wedding. Quite literally. Hehe... I bought a wedding magazine with a planning schedule in it, and I'm going to seat guests, pick colors and flowers, design a cake, make announcements, the whole nine yards.

I'm also dabbling in a "real" story. I have a title, but I'm not going to release it to y'all now, as it could (probably not) actually turn into something monetarily profitable someday.

The KP/RR crossover is nearing completion. I hope to start posting it on Valentines day, in commemoration of KP season IV starting. Sadly, I will be at work and unable to go to a friend's house and watch it. Hey, it's better than being on a date. *swats at any boys reachable*

And that's the update of me. Now for a really random few pictures or so...

Wish I was there...

Or here:

Tooth and Nail....

2007-01-26T16:31:00.000-07:00

Well...I believe an update is in order.

Things are going pretty well. My classes are turning out to be lots of fun, even if linguistics is the hardest thing I've tackled since...well, I don't know when. Even though I'm not very good at it, and a few pages in the book take me hours to understand, it's coming along. If nothing else, I'll be able to write everything in transcription when this class is over. :)

In other news, last month I went and got my nails done, just for the kicks and giggles of it. They were pretty fun, and stayed on a long time. The other night, one of my thumb nails cracked in half and popped off. I decided that it was probably time to get rid of the rest of them. Especially after the other thumbnail had a run-in with my can opener. So, out came the acitone, but as I'm run off my feet, I didn't have the hour and a half required to get the things soaked off.

*Looks down at her chopped, half-ed nails and sighs* At least I can play the piano more easily now.

Look guys! I went and got my nails done!

*sound of chipmunks falling over like bowling pins*

Education is priceless...but to pay for it, there' s Master Card.

2007-01-09T19:46:00.000-07:00

Textbook List:
1 copy of Contemporary Linguistics
1 copy of Contemporary Linguistics Workbook
1 copy of Ancient North America
1 copy of Math 960
1 copy of The Oxford Study Bible
1 copy of The King James Bible

Supplies:
1 3-part purple notepad
1 pack of Bic pens

...and one huge tuition bill later, classes have begun. I have now learned the true meaning of "for everything else, there's Master Card." *bows must humbly to her credit card, tightening the shackles on her hands in the process* Sigh. The things we do for education...

Well, classes should be fairly good. My $68 anthro book has yet to make an appearance at the bookstore, which should produce interesting results tomorrow in class. I get to have another religion vs. "reality" argument with myself in Sacred Literature class where I get to read two versions of the Bible. I guess I'll be running every line of my notes past the Admiral in the evenings. My linguistics professor can best be described as a male version of Pro. Umbridge. He has a very monotonous, low, overly-calm, dangerous, drive-me-insane-and-claw-my-eyes-out kind of voice. It should be thoroughly enjoyable. Notice I said,"should." har, har.

At this point, I am off, but not before the requisite Random Picture of the Post has made an appearance!

-Boxy

"I wonder what would happen if I poke this..."

Novicane and Rescue Rangers

2007-01-04T15:03:00.000-07:00

...and the Rangers win! Because the novicane is wearing off...and the motrin isn't kicking in...ouch!

I spent two hours in the dentist's chair this morning. Luckily, I came armed with Rescue Rangers Vol. 2, and proceed to watch the first four or five episodes while having fillings and a temp. crown done. That was at 8:00 this morning. At 2:00 this afternoon the numbness finally wore off, and now my jaw rather hurts.

And it's snowing.

...
Road trip!!

A Year in Review...

2006-12-31T18:30:00.000-07:00

*BOC42 sits down, pulls out a paper from her pocket, and begins to read*

Ehem. "First off, I'd like to thank you all for coming." *looks around and sees the usual crowd: the Rangers, Janeway and her crew, a collie name Gideon, a horse named Antimony, Kim Possible, and various other persons* "This year has been pretty crazy, so for my own sanity, and to think that perhaps I accomplished something, lets look at it."

"I started off the year with nasty cold, and the only good thing that came from that was a good impression of Katherine Hepburn in "The Philadelphia Story." In January, my friend Chris left on his mission for Lansing, Michigan and he'll be back in about a year. Wow. Time flies." *nods of agreement from listeners* "Also in January I began writing my story "Closer Than a Brother" in earnest. It's amusing to go back through my journal and watch myself write it.

"I got into Rescue Rangers more in January as well, and in February, I found The Acorn Cafe's website, and joined on the 10th. I've made many good friends there, and had many good times, which I may or may not tell you about later. (Oh, and I cut and donated my hair) Two days before I joined the Cafe, my original character, Jules," *Jules raises his paw and nods* "came up to me one evening and told me he was a villain. It was creepy. Jules, don't do that anymore.

"Here's an excerpt from a my journal entry concerning CTAB. 'My story has been consuming me for almost three months. Ever since I finished my critique and started my rewrites, and particularly since I found out about Jules, I've stopped sleeping, eating, and thinking properly. I'm on edge and snap if I get interrupted. Half the time I'm under torture, half the time I'm happy. I finish a chapter and I'm either ebullient or just BETTER. And still my title eludes me!'"

"Yes, that was the gist of the first several months of '06. In March the hardware store got remodeled, which was very strange to endure. Also, Kirby Puckett of the Minnesota Twins died of a stroke, which was very sad indeed.

"On April Fools, a friend and fellow writer at the Acorn Cafe posted a joke thread telling us that he couldn't write his story anymore. It was hilarious. Until, of course, he actually DID put the story on hold later this year. He promises to still write, and I'm waiting hopefully.

"May, fondly known as "the month of the Yam," marked the completion of Closer Than a Brother and it's publication at the Cafe and Fanfiction.net. Thankfully, my six months of exhaustive work payed off, because my friends seemed to like it. In fact, one of them made this awesome picture for me, which I posted earlier, but I'm gonna do it again.

"May was a wonderful month, allowing me much time for needed relaxation, reading, and work hours. The weather was beautiful as well. The month ended badly though, foreshadowing later months. On the 30th, my dog had a seizure, which she did recover from, but not completely. On the 31st, a co-worker's mother randomly went into a coma and died a few days later. She was a wonderful lady, with a good family, and I wish them peace and all the best.

"In June I attended the first wedding reception of a friend my age. A girl who worked in the giftshop married her high school sweetheart in the temple. A strange feeling, to see someone close to your own age get married. I quickly got used to it though, because two other co-workers found their sweethearts and were married this summer. Another co-worker left on his mission to Brazil, and my best friend at work quit in order to pursue duties as an SBO at her high school. I don't see her very often and I miss her. During June I also acquired my nickname "Boxy" from a friend at the Cafe. Thanks, dude!

"On July 6th, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, came out, and I went to the midnight showing with my sister, and went three more times throughout the summer. Yes, this warranted a whole paragraph, peeps." *A pirate in the back of the room drunkenly calls out, "hear, hear!" and gulps at a bottle of rum*

"At the end of August, I had my birthday and joined the YSA group for a trip to Idaho. It had to be the most fun vacation I'd had since my glory days as a Hooded Hoodlum. Hot tubbing when it's 60' outside is WONDERFUL.

"I went back to school, and the absolute worst semester I've ever had began. I got a second job of sorts at this point, and I was stressed trying to make enough money to pay for tuition without a scholarship. Then came the three boys who chased me around without ceasing. The boys were stressful enough, but in October all heck broke loose. First off, my grandpa passed away. My mother and I were there with him, and I was glad I was present. I had felt my grandma was missing him, and was glad that they were reunited. However, the shock of watching someone pass of crept in a day later, which was about the same time that I found out another good friend at work was leaving. To make things worse, my dog passed away on Halloween. To quote my manager, "Whoa. You need to sit down?"

"School is now over, and I've spent my time playing at the Cafe, making lots of good friends. Another couple of my friends just married each other a couple weeks ago, and I'm very happy for them.

"In current news, I'm also working on a sequel to Closer Than a Brother, a crossover between the Rangers, Kim Possible, House of Mouse, and Real Life. My resolution for the new year is to learn to be cheerful in the morning."

*Folds up paper and runs into the crowd of friends to party*

Merry Christmas!

2006-12-24T11:52:00.000-07:00

‘Twas the night before Christmas and at the Café
Tiny creatures were stirring , especially the mice.
The fedoras were hung in the Foyer with care
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.

The Rangerphiles were settled, all quiet at the bar,
They were tired this evening, having come from afar.
And Midnight in his trench coat and Indy in his hat
Had just settled down for a long night’s chat.

When out on the roof there arose such a clatter
We jumped from our tables to see what was the matter.
Away to the Windows, tripping on Flash,
JAM opened the window…we were amazed it didn’t crash.

A search engine spluttered and started to glow
Iridescent green light from the portal overflowed.
When what to our wondering eyes should appear
But a miniature sleigh; and we could just spot a cat’s ears.

A fat mean old tom cat so twisted and cruel
We knew right away we were in for a duel.
“It’s Fat Cat!” yelled Eddie.
“No kidding,” cried Squeak.
“To arms!” called Tamira
And before you could blink,
Four dozen paint guns and airplanes galore
Fat cat would be vanquished, of this we were sure.

“Haha!” laughed Fat Cat, his laughter filling the hall,
“I’ll terrify the Rangerphiles, I’ll terrify them all!
I’ll bring the pros green coffee for them to drink,
And the antis will have CG banners that blink!”

“Stay steady,” said Racebest, and loaded his gun.
AndY and Sajuuks’ plane engines hummed.
“We’ll all stick together, we’ll ride this one out,”
RangerReady declared, and we ran to our posts.

The door was flung open and Fat Cat appeared,
“They’ve all run away,” he said with a sneer.
“Oh no we haven’t,” fish hollered back.
“We’re ready and waiting, so quit talking smack!”

“Never!” he cried, “I eat fish, you know!
I’ll have you for dinner and spit your bones in the snow!”
“Hang on,” said the moderators, quickly stepping in,
“Remember this is G-rated, you’ll have to find a new way to win.”

“Whatever,” said Boxy, “let’s just attack.”
“Sounds good,” agreed Gadget, and then with great tact,
The Rangerphiles stampeded out from the bar,
Fat Cat made to retreat, but the door was too far –

Da Bus came up screeching, horn blaring real loud,
The cat jumped backwards, startled at the sound.
“You can’t steal Christmas!” Rachel declared,
“The Grinch already tried that, and you saw how he fared!”

“Just watch me, you fools, just watch me, I say,
If not this Christmas, next Christmas day.
You’ll suffer and cry when I crash the Café,
You’ll have nowhere to go, and nowhere to stay!”

“That’s enough, get him out,” Jeanette commanded the troops.
“You’re embarrassing yourself, you little nincompoop!”
“All right, have it your way, I’ll leave you alone,
But only for now, because I want an ice cream cone.”

“WHAT?” we all asked, surprised at this twist.
“You were trying to steal Christmas, we thought you’d persist!”
“I know,” he said, “but the poem is through,
So there is nothing left but to bid you adieu.”

He ran to the door, and climbed back in his sleigh,
And as we watched him drive away,
AndY exclaimed, as Fat Cat logged off the site,
“That’s gotta be the strangest Christmas ever.”
And we all knew he was right.

How a Rangerphile Celebrates

2006-12-13T20:18:00.000-07:00

Heehee! Done with school for the semester!! And, since I don't have a life, I immediately went to the Acorn Cafe and spent almost literally the entire day there. Seriously, I think my post count has gone up more than Campisi's has in the last three days. And that's saying something. But anyway, I promptly borrowed a friend's confetti blaster and covered everyone in confetti, then stuck another friend in an un-poppable bubble. At this point I left for a while, came back, and started having a snowball fight with a couple of other guys, and ended up reading tales from a chatboard about drying mice on the propeller of C-130 planes, and comparing trucks with someone. All in all, I love the Cafe, and want to go buy lightbulbs.

This is what I'm going to wear for the Acorn Awards...

This is what I wear when I'm tired...

And this is me the rest of the time. :)

Ick

2006-12-02T18:29:00.000-07:00

It is official - I'm sick of men. Just sick of them. Okay, now that I've got that off my chest...

It looks like just a month before new classes begin. I'm kinda scared, truth be told. This past semester has been pretty awful. I've contracted more social problems than I ever wanted, and learned the hard way that I actually DON'T want to date anyone seriously. Seriously, I don't. I've had a best friend leave, and I hardly see him anymore. I now have the strange talent of being able to fall asleep anywhere, whether it be on a couch, in a desk, on a bus, car, in a bank, and I'm pretty sure I could fall asleep at work if I wanted to. Okay, I want to. If I tried, more like. I'm also fairly certain that this new ability isn't a good thing. Work has become more stressful as I'v been learning to juggle the gift shop and the hardware store. All in all, it's been an interesting few months. And I'm very ready for a break. Disneyland sounds good.

Anywho, how are you guys doing?

Thanksgiving: To Have and Have Not

2006-11-22T23:48:00.000-07:00

Happy Turkey Day, all! It's kinda weird; I'm used to doing nanowrimo at this point, but instead I'm plugging through three books of essays on the KT boundary extinction. Whew!

I have to say, my favorite part of Thanksgiving (I know this is strange) is watching the Purina National Dog Show. Every year I get to watch all the fun dogs and oggle at the collies and know I'm a year closer to having my very own. How many years still separate me from my future collie I'll never know, but it'll be a while. Sadly, my dog, Asta, won't be here this Thanksgiving. I'm just starting to realize how much I miss her, and just plain having a dog in the house to cuddle with and talk to. :( I know it's awful, but I'm having a harder time dealing with losing my dog than my grandpa, though that hit me hard and hurt me too. They were both old and very sick, and are better now, but just having Asta with me every day, having to be careful when I opened the back door in case she was sleeping behind it, or had left us presents. Picking her up and holding her on the couch so her continual pacing wouldn't drive me nuts any more. Yes, I'll miss Asta a lot, for a very long time.

On the upside, I've still got my wonderful family. My awesome dad who will do anything for us, and my loving "mum" who helps me with everything in life. Peder, my little brother who's bigger than me and loves to poke and pick on me. Berit, my sister and best friend in the whole world. Stein, my Steiny Babes, who's gonna be my baby brother for life whether he likes it or not. I've got great friends who make me laugh, a fun job, a car named Sadie, a cell phone with Ewan McGregor on it, and a room full of Jack Sparrow posters. What more could I want? Oh, and Thanksgiving dinner. I'm very grateful for that.

Happy Thanksgiving, all!

Status Report

2006-11-15T22:54:00.000-07:00

I'm a day late, BUT...

RESCUE RANGERS VOL. II CAME OUT ON THE 14TH!!!! And no, I couldn't possibly be more excited. ;)

Um, let's see, status report. The boy problems are fluctuating, captian. However, I have installed a Boy Alert Safety System, B.A.S.S. for short. Our ship now has the ability to access all problem boys' brain activity patterns. Once we detect them heading our way, we can raise shields, use the cloaking device, or just plain run for it. (I prefer the running option currently.)
School is progressing slowly and painfully. Classes are becoming insufferable, I'm always tired, and don't have time to get homework done. I do not recommend working two jobs, taking 12 credit hours, and an additional 3 institute classes. Life becomes even more fizzy than one would like. Add 4 boys on top of that and my life is positively carbonated. Just kinky...
On the upside, this month is nanowrimo, though I am postponing my own writing until December. I'm now an active poster on both the Cafe and ronstoppable, and having lots of fun.
I'm currently entertaining the idea of getting a manicure with French nails, just to see if it will drive me nuts like I think it will. No, I sure it would drive me nuts, but I still have a sadistic urge to try it.
Oh, and my grandpa and puppy dog both died last month. Very traumatic month, October. Though I must say, my dog had a sense of humor, dying on Halloween. Come on, is that classy or what?

I is cute, no?

Spontaneous Bits of Advice...

2006-10-07T21:11:00.000-06:00

...and opinons:

-Your high school will smell awful to you if you go back a year after graduation. How did you ever live with the stench?

-Surprisingly, trends come back as fast as they leave. Your sister five years younger than you suddenly wants the same clothes you wanted when you were her age.

-Even the goody-two-shoes students that you admired all throughout school will turn into slackers who fall asleep in class once you hit college.

-You should always stay away from strange men wearing all black chasing you down the street with a box over his head and with flying cats in the back ground. (from a nonEnglish major, can't u tell?)

-The grass is greener on the other side, but only because it's poisoned. Yes, by me.

-Something drastically wrong has happened when you hear your cellphone ring, and can't hand it off to your dad or sister, cuz it's not your mom calling. It's a guy. And it's not the same one that called you yesterday.

-And this really disturbes you.

-Frogs can throw up. They push out their stomach and then scrap it clean with their cute little front paw type thingies and then swallow their stomach back up. Yum. Anyone still hungry?

-Suddenly the term "older men" goes from "Eww!" to "Ooh!"

-You're flabbergasted to find that even though it was one of the most popular movies of the summer, Pirates II is no longer in theaters. Yes, this is a crime. And my consolation is that Pirates III will be out in May. I can manage that long...I will not have withdrawals...I will not carry a picture of Johnny Depp on my person at all times to get me through this difficult and torturous time...no, I am not the girl you met at the Johnny Depp Anonymous meeting last night...

-When speaking to penguins, never use the word "fly". It offends greatly.

-You know something is WRONG when you are not disturbed by your younger sister's shirt with Edward Scissorhands on it...

-In fact, you FOUND her that shirt. And made sure she bought it, no matter what mum might think if she saw it.

-Never take the pitcher off the mound if he's doing a great job. This cost the Twins the penant two years running!

-Life is wretched when you can't go shopping for five consecutive months because of college tuition payments.

-Existence is futile because Johnny Depp is getting married.

-...Despite the lenghty letter you set him explaining your deep feelings for him and giving him a detailed description of your ring size and gem preferences.

-You hope he burned the letter because then you can say that you kept Johnny Depp warm this winter.

-Learn to fall asleep instantaneously. It saves time.

-If you think it's broken, try turning it on.

-Yes, hamsters can sing and do tai-chi. So can frogs.

-Don't touch the peanuts in a bar; Johnny Depp says it's bad for your health.

-No, I promise I'm not the girl you met at the Johnny Depp Obsessive Compulsive Fangirl Meeting on Tuesday!

-Stop asking me!

-Stalk him? Never. I've got this satallite hooked up to my computer for scientific research, not to keep tabs on gorgeous men...

What's Up Doc?

2006-08-30T19:48:00.000-06:00

I suppose it's about time for me to update this...

Summer was really fun. I worked a lot, made a lot of money, blew it on tuition and text books, and learned to mix paint. Ah, hardware stores. On a more interesting note, I got stranded in Moab for three days without a car, which I thought was random and hilarious, and my mom didn't. 'Course not - she was footing the bill. Sorry, mum.
After that I went to Island Park with some friends from church and had an absolute blast. I'm so used to being guarded watchfully when I'm on a church outing; it was a breath of fresh air to only have to tell the leaders where we were off to, give them our cell phone number, and run off. I swam in the Firehole river in Yellowstone, then went to Old Faithful. We played in the river that runs through St. Anthony, Idaho, and ate lunch at a local fast food resturaunt. All in all, I think it was one of the greatest trips I've ever been on. The people I was with were all fabulous; we became tight friends. All the fun of boys and girls being out having fun together, with none of the dirty junk. Those boys treated us girl like queens. A girl could get used to that. ;)

I'm back to school now as well. I'm taking some classes that will be really fun, and I'm taking some classes that have the potential to be fun, but the teachers are dry as dust. I know for certain that my Bibical Manners and Customs class will be awesome, as will my Fossil Records and Critical Approaches to Literature (couldn't Drake have mentioned, just in passing, that we'd been learning New Criticism our whole lives?!). Ballroom Dance and Advanced Fiction Writing could be really fun, but the teachers are ancient. While that is not necessarily a bad thing, it does mean a lot of opinions, 'say that louder, I can't hear you,' and meandering stories with no point and purpose. But, whatever.

When I'm not in class, I'll be juggling my homework with my two jobs. I now work both at the hardware store, and a bridal registry. I thought it might be about time to get in touch with my feminin side. I'm such a tomboy, and lets just say working at a hardware store with a bunch of guys who are too old and intelligent to be wasting their lives there but can't get better jobs and don't date at all can kinda warp a girl. I'll go look at the Noritake and learn to wrap gifts. :)

And...that's about it right now. Having lots of fun, being busy, and hopefully soon looking at a prospective rough collie that my cousin's friend just purchased. She's going to breed her in a few years, but since the dog is probably registered with the AKC, and comes from a pureblood line herself, any of her pups will be pricy, and the owner will have to be convinced that the prospective buyer (myself) is a competent owner. By the time I'm 21 I certainly hope I am! Later!

Dolly!

2006-07-09T00:56:00.000-06:00

Hey, is me! Sorta...

The Continued Random Rantings....

2006-05-26T20:41:00.000-06:00

Today my sister and I got REALLY silly and made a music video. It was hilarious. And we even have it on tape; yeah! H@X And now I'll show everyone a really cool picture that you've already seen.

Yes, it's cool. Yes, if the guy who made it was in Fed-Exing distance of cookies, he'd be getting cookies. But...he's not. But this is really cool anyway.

Yes. Done now.

No Mucho

2006-05-18T17:32:00.000-06:00

I feel prompted to post something...but I'm not sure what. And so, I shall rant. I've been working full time now, and my boss just told me today he was going to give me a raise. I'm really happy about it, because that means now I'll be able to pay for school in the fall. And maybe with a little luck, I won't be broke by spring semester, because I was figuring I'd have to take a break next spring for lack of funds. And as I refuse to take out student loans (I'd rather take a few more years to get my education done than be paying off loans when I'm 45), this is a very good development. I was on the verge of taking a second job, or finding one that payed much better. But now I can stay at my work with the people I like. Even though one of them is quitting tomorrow... :(

On another note, I accidently locked my keys in my car this afternoon. I went back outside to get my brother from piano lessons and realized they were locked inside. I had the window rolled down a little bit, so I grabbed a bit of wire out of my garage and started poking it through the window. At the same moment I had my arm inside the car, a policeman pulled into my driveway and asked if I needed some help. He laughed at me and opened my door up, then winked and said, "this IS your car, right?" and left. It was very nice of him, and I felt really stupid, and my sister was laughing at me. Then I got in the car and my seatbelt wouldn't work...I think something's jammed in the door.

Well, I think that's about it. Hey Emmett, when are you coming home, and when is your birthday? I know it's this month.
Fare thee well!

Mouse: You can't eat me! I'm a memeber of the Rescue Rangers. Really!

A Toast:

2006-05-04T18:06:00.001-06:00

To Maren FINALLY OFFICIALLY FINISHING HER STORY! Nearly 6 months from start date, many sleepless nights, bottles of Dr. Pepper, chocolate bars, freaky dreams, and seeming lifetimes later, it's done, and I'm posting it. Everybody breathe.

If you need me, I'm the person in the corner whose brain has turned to absolute mush.

"Golly...I thought she'd never leave us alone!" -Gadget

"Run. Just run while you can guys; leave me. I don't think I can move..." -Chip

Courtesy of the Gay/Straight Alliance

2006-04-27T22:47:00.000-06:00

Hi. Nothing of consequence is happening, but in response to Emmett's rather sly comment about our hypocratic silence, I will write something. My sister is talking about bad fanfics. Specifically, concerning making "straight" characters "gay." I will now discuss.
As I got off the bus onto campus the other day, there was a large notice scribbled across the sidewalk, courtesy of the Gay/Straight Alliance: Today Is National Silence Day. Whatthecrap? I read later in my school's newspaper something that went sort of like this, "Today is National Silence Day. So don't talk. If you care about human rights, even if you're not gay, show your support for your fellow human beings and their right of lifestyle choice, and just don't talk." Yeah. I thought that was kinda dumb. Following the article was a large advertisement announcing the Gay/Straight Alliance would be having a barbeque later that night to break the silence. It made me laugh. Just to peeve them, I talked more than I usually do. The only silence on campus was caused by impending finals.
Anyway, my sister and I think it's really stupid and gross to make "straight" characters "gay." Especially when that character is established as "straight" in the show. Oh, some people....

Oh well, on a completely different note: girl's camp rocks!

Impossible Things Before Breakfast

2006-04-19T10:20:00.000-06:00

I think I've called a post this before. Oh well, no matter. I woke up this morning and was stumbling around in the dark when I realized that something over by my closet and floating bookshelf (it's bolted to the wall about a foot off the ground) didn't look quite right. I bumbled over to find that in the corner there was a pile of junk that came up to my waist. I thought maybe Berit had been "cleaning" the night before and I had been so tired I hadn't noticed when I'd come into the room, so I turned on the light to figure out what was wrong. Then I realized: my floating bookshelf had busted off the wall and collapsed into a heap. I went into convulsions because my precious Voyager books were now being bent and folded all over the floor in a mess of mdf board and boxes, so I woke Berit up and we started clearing it up. After we'd gotten the chair and boxes and most of the books out of the way, the two sides of the bookshelf (which we'd assumed were still attached to the wall) came crashing down and we caught them. We toted all the mdf boards over to my bed and filled both our beds and the couch in the living room up with our books (none of them are bent; I can keep breathing). It was quite the little escapade. But that also meant that I didn't have time to go outside and defrost my car, so I didn't catch the right bus again, and thus by the time I got to English class, everyone was gone, which was bad, because I had stayed up until all hours of the morning perfecting a report on For Whom The Bell Tolls, so I searched the English building for my teacher's office and handed it into her, and then went to Comm. class early where I found out that T.P.T.B. want to stick in a gondola and a bunch of houses up above campus, and I think that's really stupid. *breaths* That was a really long sentence. And now, because I don't have anthropology class due to the fact that I must attend the undergraduate research conference, I will go find something to eat. And that didn't make any sense but I said it anyways!

Bye!

To Whom It May Concern:

2006-04-13T20:00:00.000-06:00

A Painful Glimpse of the Obvious. No doubt you have seen The Shop Around the Corner and remember the line, "I want your opinion, your honest opinion." The very problem with this is that the people with the power never ask for the opinion of the peons, and [insert name of store here] is no exception. We recently emerged on the other side of our remodel, and in retrospect, several dumb and expensive mistakes could have been averted, were the employees asked for their opinions. After all, we're the ones who live with it, right? The man who owns the store came in today to see how we were faring after all was said and done. The longer he hung around with the contractor and my boss, going over every corner of the store, the more I wanted to jump in and say, "Excuse me, but I have an idea! What if we did...nevermind, you're not listening." Some of the things that bother me are as follows:

1. A large and costly key accessory rack. We bought a lazy susan-style key rack that stands over five feet high, and we've placed it in such a position that everyone coming through the door hears, "Hi, how are you," turns, and sees a key rack talking to them. They've put it right in front of my line of vision. The man who owns our building picked up on that one. "You know, everytime someone comes in and she says 'hello,' they can't see who's talking to them." Hey, point for you! Are you gonna do something about it?

2. The counter lay-out. We are a hardware store, not a bank. Our counters would say otherwise. Instead of having a lane that the cart can drive through, there is one long counter that everyone shares, and they all tend to congregate in the middle of the counter, instead of the seperate sides. This could be solved by allowing me to put arrows on the back of my register, indicating which side I want the customer on. It's terrible when I'm reaching the wrong way around my till, and the customer produces a credit card, and I have to ask them to come around the computer to slide it. But, "No, I don't want anything on these registers. It will look tacky." Yeah, it'll look tacky, but 1. it's a hardware store, it's not supposed to be particularly clean, 2. it's your fault for designing the counters this way, and 3. I really like to make life as convenient as possible for the customers, and this is a far reach from convenient.

3. Taking out our drink machine. People like a cold drink when they're in the middle of a long day in the ward or painting, and loved that we had a drink machine that they could by some soda from cheap. Well, it's gone. "Yes, for the fourth time today, our drink machine is gone. Come in tomorrow morning, ask for Bob (name changed), and tell him you want it back, cuz we can't convince him."

4. The telephones (or lack thereof). In the infinite wisdom of T.P.T.B., our two telephones were taken out and replaced with one normal phone, and one cordless phone. At first glance, this seems really high-tech and cool, but it's not so much. The thinking behind the cordless was that the person using it could take the phone with them to check prices and things, but it's really dumb to put it there. The only people near this phone are us checkers, and we are strongly discouraged from leaving the checkstand area. Thus, the phone is null and void. Also, it has no extra features. I cannot use it to page, transfer phone calls, or anything else useful. Only the other phone has all these features, but they are rendered useless when someone is talking on it. If another call comes in, the phone will ring, but we can't use the cordless to pick it up; we always transfer calls to customer service; we're busy, we can't answer your questions. And, if someone is on the phone and I am the lone checker (as happened today), there will inevitably be a long line of customers, and I can't page for another cashier. The lack of logic at my workplace would drive Starfleet, the Borg, Vulcans, the Rescue Rangers, and all [insert name of store here] employees crazy. I suspect the federal government would approve, though....

With all that said, I shall now register some minor complaints that have nothing to do with the remodel.

Other minor complaints:

-The tags are incorrectly labeled. I thought at first that it was a side-effect of our remodel, and was therefore somewhat patient with it. But now, 1 in 10 customers will tell me their total is too high, and ask what the prices were. I will read them off, and they will look confused and say, "no, it said this much back on the tag. Would you like me to go get it, or double check?" After a week of this, I complained to a manager, and he fumed for a moment about our tags, and then told me to always go with lower price. Having to double-check prices and deal with un-marked items slows down my efficiency (and I'm FAST) and annoys both me and the customer.

On Yet Another Note,
I shall complain about boys.

-I hereby declare that boys should NOT bring a girl chocolate after a date on which she gave every indication that she was NOT INTERESTED.

-I hereby declare that I paid my tutition ON TIME, and will therefore not pay a $40 late fee five months after the fact. Grrr you, Weber.

-And now, I hereby declare that I shall go and eat pizza. Fare the well, o sufferers of my complaints!

Teachers Say The Darndest Things

2006-04-03T20:36:00.000-06:00

My professors, in particular my anthropology professor, say some of the most hysterical things. My notebook is full of them, so here are a few for your perusal. (Don't you love my love/hate relationship with her?)

"It's like in cartoons. Don't look down - there might not be much there."

"When I was a teenager...back in the Pliocene...."

"Our hypothetical Martian anthropologist."

"Oh daddy, it's cultural!"

"Have any of you ever played Dungeons and Dragons? Each culture has a different number of 'energy points.'"

"Every time I pull down this map of Africa I want to chew my fist off. It should be across the hall in the archeology lab!"

Concerning Masons- "Mostly I think they just sell insurance to each other."

"Crazy-Dogs-Who-Want-To-Get-Themselves-Killed. No I'm serious; that's what they were called!"

"Once my student, always my student."

"It actually has something to do with anthropology. Imagine that!"

"The worst culture shock is when you come home."

"Your graduating class...sometimes I think they have a magnetic chip on me. It doesn't matter where I am -and sometimes I'm in some pretty remote places!- , when it comes time for a reunion, they WILL find me."

Concerning Football- "Ritualized combat."

"High school and college students are hunter-gatherers."

"If you want to talk to someone who lived 13,000 years ago, I cannot offer you a lot of hope."

Concerning the Ice Man- "They let him thaw out! Every good woman knows you don't let meat thaw!!"

"Did you all go through a dinosaur phase? A lot of people did. Some people never grew out of it." :)

"I think we should have kept the tail."

"And here is Mr. Gorilla. 'Hello, class!'"

"The Swiss Army Knife of the Upper Paleolithic."

Booster Seat Guidlines: Under 80-100 lbs? Strap 'em in!

2006-03-29T21:52:00.000-07:00

Look what I stumbled across! Sweetness. :) Yes, very happy. And now, just because I'm in a bizzare mood, I am going to rant.

In America today, the media is constantly obsessing about people being too fat. Obesity is killing us, they say. They say we've never been a more unhealthy and overly large people. And then to top it off, they shove skinny, scantily clad women at us and tell us that's what we (girls) are supposed to look like. This is bad enough, and I hate and disapprove of it, but there is another issue here.

The issue is that they don't make clothes for skinny people any more than they make clothes for larger people. I hear larger people complain about having to special order clothes from magazines and going to many different stores before finding a pair of pants that will fit them. You know what? I have the same problem.

Depending on the brand of pants, I can wear anything from an 18 in girls to a 5 in juniors. And as I don't particularily want pale blue jeans with bright pink plastic belts and flowers, the girl's department is out of the question. So the hunt begins! I spend far too much time combing through racks of jeans, almost always ranging in sizes from about 8-13. That's the average woman's size, and so that's what manufacturers produce. I'm not average size. I usually end up buying the one and only size 1 on the rack, and since jeans aren't "made the way they were in the old days," soon I have to go back and find another pair.

Tonight I went over to Target to get some new jeans because the ones I had bought there a couple of months ago were getting holes in them. Berit and I combed through rack after rack of pants, and the smallest thing in the whole store was a 5. And it was a large 5. A fall-off-of-me-even-with-a-belt-5. Uhg. We turned to leave the store, and an ever-helpful Target lady kindly asked if I'd found what I wanted. Just cuz I was tired and didn't want to have to trek across Centerville and Bountiful to get to the next store that might possibly have something, I told her exactly what she didn't need to hear. "Um, no. You didn't have any pants in my size." At which point she frowned and looked down at my waist, uttered a hasty "sorry," and went back to her work. We left the store, Berit threatening to force-feed me butter.

I'm feeling some irony here. I'm supposed to be skinny as a Barbie doll, and yet (I promise guys, I DO eat!) us few girls who have the bad luck of looking anorexic can't find pants to wear! Perhaps this says something about the media?

We won't get into the other issues that petite girls get teased about: the frequent "oh that's right, you're short!" jokes, and the constant, "wait...you're not heavy enough to give blood?!", and the ever-annoying (and yes, I have been asked this frequently), "are you anorexic?" If I was, would I tell you? Maybe I should start saying yes...

R.T.R.

2006-03-24T16:19:00.000-07:00

Ready To Run.

It's a song by Dixie Chicks and my current theme song. Don't bother trying to figure out how a country song became my theme, but it has, and so it shall stay until I decree it otherwise.

"When the train rolls by
I'm gonna be ready this time.
When the boy gets that look in his eye
I'm gonna be ready this time...
Ready ready ready ready to run.
All I'm ready to do is have some fun!"

You see, everything was hunky dori-dori, until a certain young man whom I shall call "Puppy Dog" decided he wanted to sit by me on the bus. You know, the bus is crowded and you can sit by me if you want to, that's just fine, but please notice the fact that I'm busy reading a book and have my earphones in. He didn't bother to notice. And he still doesn't. If he sees me anywhere, he'll sit down next to me, even if I'm on my laptop, or very busy doing something. And he'll STAY there, trying to talk to me, even if I have my earphones in, or if someone else is there. I can't get rid of him! I've had to talk him out of being my study partner, avoid telling him where I spend my lunch hours now, hide the fact that I have no social life and am completely free all the time, tell him I've got work when he wants to take me on dates... Maybe I'm getting better at saying 'no' at least? I didn't make it out the first time; I'm supposed to go to a semi-formal with him next month. Que sera? "Sera." Thank you, Frenchie. (Don't ask.)

I must figure out how to give off a "leave me be" vibe. Not wearing makeup or dressing nicely doesn't work. Wearing a fake engagement ring doesn't work. Perhaps a neon sign over my head that says STAY AWAY!? I am such a pushover. Honestly. The ones I want to talk to me won't, and the one's who I wouldn't talk to insist upon hanging around me. And the only thing I can do is give them the silent treatment. And it doesn't detter them!

"Que Sera." "Sera!"

"I have a plunger gun and I'm not afraid to use it!!"

A Question From the Pop Rocks Princess...

2006-03-19T20:26:00.000-07:00

*Ahem*
"If you were absolutely positively guaranteed success in anything, what would it be?"

We will now stop a while, and ponder this deep, and impurplative philosophical question. Emmett?

I'll get back to you when I've thought about it.

Ready to Explode!!

2006-03-13T22:25:00.000-07:00

Because I've finished draft two of Closer Than a Brother!! (okay, that sounds really geeky, but who bloody cares?) It was about midnight last night when I finished. Now that the house is up, I just have to finish the decorating, all the accessories and what not. The first chapter needs a good overhaul, I've discovered, and the last one may need some elongating, but other than that, just some extensive proof reading. And if needs be, I'll let it ferment for a while. Hopefully sometime this month I'll be able to start posting it, but we're on the last leg!

My story is currently the only thing holding my sanity together. "Spring Break," lots of snow...oi. I spent today reading an anthropological study on Kookopolo, and consequently know quite a bit more about him and the Hopi than I ever wanted to know. I personally believe that perhaps the anthropologist who did the book was indoctrinated by Fruedian teachings in his youth, because the whole thing was just...I won't say it. At any rate, I'm not sure I understood it all. Somehow Kokopelli, Kookopolo, and Cacada (?) are all linked, and yet all not. I'm still struggling with what a robber fly has to do with the god of fertility... I shall ponder it studiously. I have to work the rest of the week, figure out how to turn this odd Kookopolo thing into a research paper, read several ethnography chapters, two short stories, get in some time on a couple of novels if I can, and three math sections...somehow. Somehow it will all fit, right? I'm having flashbacks to spring break when we were juniors. How many chapters did Harris give us, along with those practice tests and...was it the war review? All I know is that I have bad memories of spending 23 (yes, I counted) hours on history (didn't count the homework for English or chemistry time) that week, sitting in the toy room in my pajamas and a hoodie in a blanket, listening to the same CD over and over, trying to get it all done. I remember writing a lot of poems very late at night, all of them cursing Harris and Bailey. Heck, lets dig one out, just to commemorate spring break this year... Pardon the terrible poetry. *ahem*

Bailey and Harris
Just need to go away;
They're living inside of my head!
I can hear them all night
When fear of The Test
Comes upon me with nightmarish dread.
But only when I do sleep
Do they torture me so,
Most of the time I'm awake;
Doint homework indefinitely,
Staying up 'till all hours of the night.

Eh, you know what? That's horrible. I'm going to shut up now and see who else likes soda showers (just ignore that last comment)....

Resisting Conversion

2006-03-09T16:46:00.000-07:00

Hmm...what to write about?

I'm sitting in the English/anthropology building right now killing a lot of time. I ran into an interesting poster in the hallway on my way down here, though. This month there is going to be a anthro discussion comparing the LDS and Catholic churches. Sounds interesting. The poster went on to say the speaker would dwell on the fact that while the LDS church does not claim to believe in exodus, it does participate in them. Impurplative. Not sure what to think about that, actually. Half the time I feel like the anthro department is trying to convert me to atheism/realism/conventionalism/something. Who knows. Oh. And if any of you brilliant minds out there know of any symbols from another culture (not Balinese, Zuni, or Apache) that I could research, give me a holler. I really don't even know where to start. Once I have a symbol in mind, I'm sure it won't be any worse than a regular research paper, but it seems to me you have to have lived in another culture for a while to recognize and symbols there, or just be really smart. And as the farthest from home I've been is Illinois, and I'm not very brilliant, I feel like I'm up a proverbial creek without a paddle.

Win Twins!

2006-03-06T21:30:00.000-07:00

It's a sad day for baseball fans everywhere, and especially sad for my dad and I. This afternoon, Twins former center-fielder Kirby Puckett passed away. He was an awesome player and talented athelete. He'll be missed.

(Photo from wltx.com)

Why I Don't Work at Dominos

2006-03-03T22:43:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone! I got a cute new purse...bet you all wanted to know that. Back to the title: you all know I'm Directionally Challenged (it should be a handicap worthy of surveys in doctor's offices), and tonight it managed to manifest itself moreso than it ever has before.

My sister called me from a friend's house and asked me to pick her up. A simple enough task, except I couldn't place the address in my head, and she was explaining her whereabouts to me in a very random, beffudling manner. I hadn't a clue where to go. So naturally, I hit up Mapquest and typed in the addresses, except I accidently placed my destination in Bountiful instead of Centerville. They're right next to each other in real life, but it messed up my map big time. The directions weren't remotely like the ones my sister had given me. I drove off, and after driving around randomly for ten minutes, I settled in under a streetlight and executively decreed that my Mapquest directions were all wrong. I went back to my sister's directions.

I drove around for another five minutes, in and out of all these weird backstreets in Centerville, and couldn't find it. I was getting desperate, so I called my brother at home, had him give me my sister's friend's phone number, and I called them and talked to my sister's friend. After a rather round-about route, I found the right street. The problem was the house numbers didn't go up high enough. Okay... After driving up and down the street several times (flashback to dance doorbell ditching days), I went out onto another main road and discovered that my desired street continued on up, kitty-corner to where it was originally. Go figure. And so I drove up that street, and ended up on the hill. No one said anything about a hill. I drove up and down that street until in the dark I managed to make out the address of the house I was supposed to be at. Forty minutes after I set out to find my sister, I returned home.

I must have done enough U-turns to pass off an entire class of drivers ed students.

And that, my friends, is why I don't work at Dominos.

Bigger Go-Coasters, spritz, and Sadie

2006-02-26T21:16:00.000-07:00

"Golly, it wasn't supposed to do that..."

So...updates on life. I watched Star Wars III last night and decided again that Ewan McGregor is the best thing that ever happened to Star Wars. *spritz!* Especially the six hours of bonus materials on the second disk. Really cool. There was one thing in particular about the bonus features that I really liked. There was a segement called "Star Wars in a Minute," or somethin' like that, and it went through every department, and listed all the names of every person in each department, that went into making STIII. I thought it was very good of George Lucas to include that featurette, because Star Wars has been a monumental task, very well liked, and everyone who worked on it from the catering crew to the orchestra should be thanked. And they were. I thought that was very good of him.

My story I'm working on (working title "Closer Than a Brother"), has had its three month birthday on Friday. Not sure when that thing will get done...but it will. My other stories just have a bad habit of popping up and saying "lookee me, Maren!" while I'm trying to fine-tune the current one. Oiy. Stop DOING that. Leave me alone and let me type. Golly, you're worse than the boys in the institute building. ANYHOW!

Berit curled my hair tonight, and I'm wondering if I have any clean pants to wear tomorrow. I should really find some, ya know? And my car is once again in the repair shop, and my parents are having "fun" driving me all over: to work, to school, to the bus...oiy. I wish Sadie would stop breaking down and be a good, reliable second-hand car so I can do the things I need and want without living in constant fear of her breaks going out, or her starter stopping, or the windshield capsizing on me...alas.

Hope you boys have a fizzy week. How's the weather up in Washington? My friends from there are telling me that our 50' weather is hot compared to Washington, but I'm still insisting it's fairly cool outside. Interesting conversation/argument about what a "hot summer" is. 102' vs. 73'. I hope I won? Anyways, I'm really gonna shut up now...

maybe. :)

How come Tokyo gets a bigger Go-Coaster than us? *pouts*

Supreme High Ruler of Pluto

2006-02-23T23:18:00.000-07:00

(And the Potatoes who live there)

Maren has recently conquered Pluto. Under her inspired leadership, the Potatoes and the Munks (who eat the Potatoes), and the chickens, have learned to prosper together in peace. The Munks work for a Japanese packaging agency, and in their spare time, contemplate the reality of the bubble volcanoes which adorn the countryside. The Japanese packaging agency, headed by PAGE (name changed to protect the 'innocent'), exports the Potatoes. The Potatoes do not mind being eaten, or packaged, or mashed and eaten with butter. All is well on Pluto.

Every Wednesday, we go and have tea with the Martians, and afterwards indulge in an innocent game of croquet. And every Monday, an embassy from Beatlejuice arrives, and we pop popcorn, invite the chickens over, and watch Mystery Science Theatre 3000 with the Rescue Rangers, who have been drifting by in abandoned spacesuits from Earth, which my sister owns.

All is well in the Solar System, for Berit: Supreme Dictator of Earth and Mars, and Maren, Supreme High Ruler of Pluto (and the Potatoes that live there), have joined in the Sisterhood of Ruling the Solar System. Our loyal subjects have no need to fear, for the Army of Finger Puppets, led by the brave Locker Monkey protects us from threats. Speckles, Low Ruler of Monks and Monkeys and Aquatic Animals from the Pet Store, aids Locker Monkey in his difficult task. Nip, the High Holy Hampster of A Kit Man Do, watches the skies for signs of alien attack, while Rufus: Runner of the Excercise Wheel, teachs the chickens and monks and Potatoes Tai Chi. We are very happy, and all is well in the Solar System!

(Can you tell how late it is? I can't, my eyes stopped working hours ago...)

Hello....

2006-02-21T18:08:00.000-07:00

I feel like an Eeyore today. I've managed to mess up just about everything I possibly can. Yes...humiliation, embarassment...even when I was just trying to be nice. Yeah. Pretty much shot-to-crud-worthless-go-back-to-bed-and-try-again-day. And I have a headache. And my mouth hurts cuz I went to the dentist this morning. Oh, don't remind me about the dentist....or anything else. Like my car's starter dying last night, like how much it's going to cost to fix it, or how I managed to lose my brother for an hour and then forget I'd done it, or anything else. Yes. Rotten. No Good Very Bad Day.

"It's a good thing."

2006-02-17T18:49:00.000-07:00

...But not in the sense that Martha Stewart would say it. Or even Stewie. Take yer pick.

Yeah, so I'm in a pretty darn good mood. I took my laptop up to school today and spent a blissful TWO hours sitting on a couch all alone working on my latest fanfic. Beautiful, I tell you. And considering I'm in the later stages of rewrites and that this was one chapter I hadn't even drafted yet, I did incredibly well in those two hours. Still needs some time to sit, you know, ferment, but I think this chapter bodes well. Not that either of you care. :P But, if in the event you want to toss out some random titles for me to think about, I'd be very happy. I've been working on this story for three months and still haven't got a clue about the title. It eludes me still...oh, cruel fate! :)

what??

2006-02-13T11:11:00.000-07:00

You know, my pictures only show up when I'm looking at this thing at school. Weird, no? Yeah, just thought I'd write something to assure you that I'm still alive. If I am. I'm not quite sure at this point. As Jo March would say, "genious burns!" and I'm pretty much dead to the world. I've been staying up far too late, waking up and not being able to go back to sleep. I've forgotten to eat several times, I'm really snippish, and just generally freaking out royally. Bet you're glad you're not here, right!? :) Yes, I'm writing, which means everyone around me is suffering. Poor people. I told them to leave me alone.
Have a fizzy day...in a good sense...